Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
DO I CHOOSE THE ONE I LOVE OR THE ONE WHO LOVES ME?
Dear Willie D:
A while back you put up a post on Facebook asking, "Do you choose the one you love or the one who loves you?" I believe that was a Glen Frey song, by the way. Anyway, man, I'm dealing with something like that right now. The one who loves me really loves me and I'd love to make it work with her because I know she'll be loyal, but I just can't quite get that spark to start that engine.
On the other hand, the one I love doesn't give me the time of day; well, she used too, but lately she has become very distant. I'm not sure if it's on purpose or whatever, but I got the feeling she could care less if I exist or not. If you get a minute I'd love your take on this. Thanks, homey!
My choice would be neither. I don't care how much I love someone. The moment they tell me they don't want to be with me or I realize their feelings aren't mutual I'm gone and I'm taking love with me. Likewise, it makes no sense to be with someone I don't love just because they love me. What if three women loved me simultaneously? Should I consider being with them all? I don't play with hearts.
The world is cold and hell is hot. If I'm going to be here, I would rather be happy and alone than miserable and in a relationship.
DEALING WITH VERBALLY ABUSIVE AUNTS
Dear Willie D:
How can I charge family to the game without feeling bad? I don't really get along with my aunts. They have been mean to me since I was a kid. They insult me by calling me slow and a retard. Growing up, I thought I was retarded because they said it so much. I don't understand. These are the same people who took care of me and fed me, but they insult me.
Now I'm a 27-year-old man and they still treat me like shit. I was trying to build a relationship until they talked bad about my mother. I almost killed my aunts, so I cut them off for good. What I would like to know is how can I overcome the verbal abuse from my aunts?
Since your aunts have been verbally abusing you all of your life, there really isn't anything to talk about with them. It's noble to stick up for your mom, but your mom should have stuck up for you a long time ago. Nevertheless, here we are. Get some professional counseling, man. It'll help process the pain and teach you to put emphasis on the good things in your life. We are taught to love family no matter what, but sometimes family can be your worst enemy.
It took me a long time to accept that reality, but now I get it, and each day I wake up it gets a little easier to cut off people who mean me no good.
More knowledge from Willie D on the next page.
HE'S TOO BIG FOR PLEASURABLE SEX
Dear Willie D:
I have been with my boyfriend for six months and we still have not officially had sex. The reason being is he is too well-endowed. I have tried to be understanding of his issue and he has been patient with me, but it is very frustrating for both of us. Normally he is able to get the tip in but that is it. We have oral sex but I do not enjoy it as much as I do penetration.
I have really been trying to please him, and myself for that matter, but I do not know what else to do. His birthday is in a few weeks, so hopefully I can get an answer from you by then. Thanks in advance.
Trying to Please:
It could be because you know what's coming you're tightening your vaginal muscles making it more difficult for your boyfriend to penetrate. So try to relax. You don't need tampons, cucumbers, dildos, or any other pulseless, silly objects to loosen up. Trust me, everything you need is attached to your man's body. He just needs to know how to use it. He needs to slowly and gently insert one figure inside of you to the first knuckle, which is located at the base of the finger.
Once he gets it all the way in he needs to move his finger in every direction to stretch you. If it hurts tell him to stop but try to continue. After he pleasures you for a few minutes with one finger tell him to repeat step one adding another finger each time until he thinks the width of his collective fingers equals the girth of his penis. Apply lubricant as needed. Because the vagina is designed to stretch, this is something you should be able to get through within a few days.
Remember, practice makes perfect, and in the words of that '70s funk band B.T. Express, do it 'til you're satisfied.
STUCK IN THE FRIEND ZONE
Dear Willie D:
I'm a 30-year-old woman who is crazy in love with a guy who has been my best friend since I was a freshman in college. But I don't know how to communicate my desires to him. He is wonderful to talk to. Anytime I'm having a rough day I can always call him, and even if he's busy he'll make himself available to accommodate me. I'm not dating anyone at the time but he is; I just don't know how serious it is because he is clandestine in regards to his dating life.
I have seen two girls he's dated and they are absolutely gorgeous. Although I don't think I'm gorgeous, I have been told that I'm pretty quite often so I feel as though I have a decent chance with him. I really like him; no, I'm in love with him. But I fear that if I reveal my true feelings, even if they're reciprocated, it will eventually destroy our friendship. What should I do?
Crazy In Love:
Never give up on pursuing a goal before the outcome is decided. Since he's in a relationship, you need to gather intel on how serious it is before you advance. Next time you speak to him casually ask him how things are going with her. If it's serious, you should give yourself a timetable as to how long you're willing to wait to see how it plays out before you disclose your feelings. If it's not serious, just talk to him like you always do and tell him how you feel.
Relationships don't come with crystal balls. What makes them appealing is excitement and unpredictability. It would be horrible if you guys forged an intimate relationship, broke up and ended up hating each other like many couples do. But that's not the worst thing that could happen. The worst thing that can happen in life is an opportunity unpursued because of fear.
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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