Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
WHY DO SMOKERS STAND RIGHT OUTSIDE OF DOORWAYS TO SMOKE?
Dear Willie D:
I have a healthy contempt for smokers who have no regard for the rest of society. If I was a smoker you would never catch me smoking cigarettes right outside of the doorway or in the direct path of nonsmokers. I mean seriously, if you want to kill yourself go right ahead, but don't take the rest of us out with you.
Smoking is hazardous to your health. As such, if a smoker causes a non-smoker to come into contact with smoke fumes they should be charged with assault, the same as any other person who causes bodily harm to an innocent person. Why do smokers have to stand right outside of doorways to smoke?
Here are my top 5 reasons why smokers stand near the entryway to buildings:
5. Companies tend to position ashtrays near entryways. 4. They want to take the shortest route to get to their destination. 3. Their lungs are so clouded with smoke that they can't walk much further past the door. 2. They will likely experience an early death and they want to take as many of us with them as possible. 1. They just don't give a damn.
MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS ARE PEEPING TOMS
Dear Willie D:
I live in a neighborhood where I'm under constant surveillance by my next-door neighbors. These people are the worst of the worst. On the first day that I moved into my house they literally pulled out lawn chairs, and watched my family carry our things into the house. They had no shame whatsoever.
Resale Concert Tickets
Amused by their audacity, I grabbed a lamp out of my car and stared them down as I walked into the house. I once caught them peeping through their curtain while my husband and I were in the backyard lying out by the pool. My 8-year-old daughter was bringing in her roller skates from outdoors one day and the woman who lives there asked her was her father her real father.
That's when I lost it. I went to their house and told her to mind her own damn business, and if she have something that she wants to know about me or my child's father she should ask me or my husband, not a little kid. She tried to act like she didn't know what I was talking about. I thought after that they would stop stooping on us, but that incident was two years ago.
This situation has been going on for a total of three years. Do you have any suggestions on how I can stop them from being so nosy?
When a neighbor is nosy it can be a blessing or a curse. Nosy neighbors generally help to deter crime. But sometimes you get that neighbor who is all up in your mix watching you so closely that it becomes creepy. Your neighbors seem to be suffering from Compulsive Nosy Neighbor Disorder (CND) -- just made that one up.
They are professional snoopers who will not be swayed, so here are your options: once a week you could call the police on them and report that there is a loud party going on with underage drinking, or you could move. I was going to tell you to get some binoculars and sit out in your front yard watching as they go about, but they seem like the type that would like the attention.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
CHOOSING BETWEEN MY DIVORCED PARENTS
Dear Willie D:
My parents divorced two years ago when I was 15 years old. Since then I have been living with my mom on weekdays and visiting my dad on the weekends. Now that my mom has a new job she's moving to another city and she expects me to go with her, but I don't want to move. I want to stay in Houston where all of my friends are. Also, I like my school so I don't want to transfer.
My mother assumes that I'm going to be moving with her, because she keeps talking about all the things to do when we get to the new city. I have spoken to my dad about this, and he said that I can live with him. But I don't know how to tell my mother that is what I want to do without hurting her feelings?
Because I'm a girl she is taking for granted that I want to live with her. How do I choose between my mother and father?
You're not choosing between your parents, you're choosing who to live with. Talk to your mother and explain to her that your life is in the city where you currently live. Tell her that you want to live with your dad because you don't want to move away from your friends. Let her know that you like your school, and you want to graduate with your class.
Express to her that because you want to live with your dad it doesn't mean that you love him more than you love her. It just means you want to live with him. Tell her you will visit her for summer break, on holidays and as many off days as possible. Now how do you convey all of this to your mom without hurting her feelings? You can't, but at least she'll have an understanding of how you feel.
MY FLING SAYS SHE'S PREGNANT BUT WON'T LET ME SEE HER
Dear Willie D:
I had a brief fling with a girl from Dayton, Ohio when she visited me in Jacksonville, Florida during the Christmas holidays. I hadn't spoken to her since then. All of a sudden she calls to quiz me about why I don't call her. I told her it was a casual encounter so I didn't think I was obligated to call her.
So then she drops the big "P" bomb on me and says she's pregnant. Instead of freaking out I collected my thoughts and measured my words. Since we did go unprotected once, it was a possibility that the child was mine so I told her I would like to come to Dayton and talk to her face to face about everything, but she refuses to see me.
We have been in communication several times since the first call, and each time I mention coming to see her she changes the subject, or says she's unavailable. When I ask her to choose a date she becomes evasive. I looked at her Instagram profile and she doesn't appear to be pregnant on any of her recent pictures. She also hasn't updated a post since March 10, so I don't know. Is this girl legit, or is she playing games?
That's why it is important to get familiar with a woman's character before you become familiar with her body. It seems as though she's playing games, but you never know. So just in case it doesn't go your way, get that child support ready and repeat after me: Dada, dada, dada, dada...
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!