Dear Willie D:
I just received a job promotion, and I plan to invite my closest friends and relatives, but not my parents. They almost never support anything important to me. When I was in high school, they didn’t attend any of my basketball games. Although they attended my wedding, they missed the wedding-party dinner and skipped out on the reception that was only blocks away from their house.
My mother didn’t participate in my wife’s bridal shower or her baby shower. It used to really bother me, but I’m finally over it. I’m done with trying to force something that doesn’t fit. Family, parents above all should be involved in every milestone of your life. I’m their only child and have never given them any problems, so why do they treat me so bad?
You didn’t mention any abuse, rejection, destitution, child endangerment or alcohol and drug dependency, so maybe your parents aren’t as bad as you think. Yes, they’re grown and should know already, but there’s a possibility that your parents are totally oblivious to how much their limited support of important activities and events in your life has affected you through the years.
They sound like simple folks who provided their child with all of the basic needs in life: food, clothes, shelter and love, and they may have thought that was enough. Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. My parents never once came to any of my football games or boxing matches. It didn’t stop me from being competitive and impressing people. But it would’ve been nice to look out into the audience and know that the people whom I cared about impressing the most were there rooting for me.
DO YOU THINK CAPITAL PUNISHMENT SHOULD BE ABOLISHED?
Dear Willie D:
I’m not a big fan of capital punishment; however, there are some situations where I believe government-sanctioned murder is appropriate. If you take a life or rape a child, you don’t deserve to live in a civilized society. What are your thoughts on the death penalty?
I was originally against capital punishment because too many mistakes are made in the criminal justice system, where the innocent oftentimes get wrongly accused and convicted (and sometimes the prosecutors know this, but that’s another story). Because death is irreversible, I didn’t believe we should risk killing one innocent person.
Then my cousin was murdered. When the guy who killed him was captured, I wanted him dead. But I realized how hypocritical I was being and changed my mind. Look at the injustice in the O.J. Simpson case — and what about George Zimmerman? Anybody with a half a head knows that both were guilty as hell. Think about all the innocent people who have been exonerated and taken off death row as a result of D.N.A.
I don’t have to get into the moral components of the death-penalty debate. The fact that capital punishment is inundated with errors, abuse and injustice is reason enough alone to abolish it. Anyone who disagrees should be put to death.
MY WIFE REFUSES TO WORK
Dear Willie D:
I work about 72 hours a week to support me and my wife. If she worked we could afford a lot more and we could pool our money so that I could retire sooner. Retiring sooner would allow me the time to start and focus on my own business. My wife has been sitting at home for the past 13 months doing nothing.
She was laid off because of a languishing job market, but things have changed as the market has been in full recovery for months. Still, she refuses to look for work. My wife is a 43-year-old healthy woman. There’s no reason why she couldn’t get a job and contribute financially. What am I missing here?
You’re missing a TV Guide and lots of chocolate. Being that you’re a man, most people would tell you to suck it up, stop whining, and handle your business. Conversely, if you were a woman writing in about her fantastic, jobless, won’t-look-for-work husband, they would say leave the bum. Gone are the days of single-income relationships where the man brings home the bacon and the woman cooks it.
If your arrangement with your wife was that both of you would contribute financially to the household expenses and retirement fund, you’re well within your rights to expect her to hold up her end of the bargain. Maybe your wife is depressed, or she could be burned out from working. Sit down and have a candid conversation with her about your financial future together. Then set a timeline on when she’ll start looking for work.
No need for divorce. If you tighten up the purse strings and she can’t afford the extras such as getting her hair and nails done, or buying those new shoes she wants, she’ll be back to work before you know it. Until then, whenever you return home tired from work and she’s in a room that you walk into, just stick your tongue out and give her a meanie face. That’ll teach her.
WHAT IS MORE DANGEROUS, GUNS OR ALCOHOL?
Dear Willie D:
Given the enormity of alcohol-related crimes, why are so many people in America focused on gun control? Alcohol claims hundreds of deaths and destroys families every day. So why is it not talked about in the media as much as guns are?
I don’t know why the media reports more on guns than it does alcohol. Maybe because alcohol is a universal, socially accepted pastime.
It all boils down to responsible usage. I know gun owners who are responsible, and people who drink alcohol who are reckless. By the same token, I also know people who own guns who are reckless, and people who drink alcohol who are responsible.
Either way, both alcohol and guns are inanimate objects that can do no harm unless handled incorrectly by a human being. With that said, I’m most afraid of a fool with both.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.