Today, June 1, has been declared National Punch a Hipster Day. First off, who the hell comes up with these random-ass holidays?
As someone who gets called a hipster at times, I don't think I am. Maybe I'm a music hipster, in a sense.
Most would say repeating this quote -- "I was listening to [blank] before they made it on the radio" -- is an indicator that one is a hipster. I would just consider that to be a person who knows music. I hate the radio. The radio tends to kill the songs that you love. But for mainstreamers, that apparently makes us music hipsters.
But I would like to clear some things up and provide the beef-heads with some music that may make them reconsider themselves as "hipsters."
Reconsider yourself if...
1. To all you frat bros: Dubstep and all the other genres of electronic music were an underground scene in America for a long time, but now it is making a rise. So remember when you're blasting "Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites" by Skrillex, we techno "hipsters" were listening to that when the EP was released around two years ago.
2. Nice to see everyone now enjoys The Black Keys, but just because they were featured in every March Madness 2012 commercial doesn't give you college-sports fanatics a right to start downloading the Keys' most recent album, El Camino, and then want to pick on the "hipster" who knew of The Black Keys when they were formed in Ohio in 2001.
3. I don't know what some people's obsession with wanting to learn how to play the banjo is, but could that possibly have anything to do with Mumford & Sons? Their album, Sigh No More, was released in 2009, but didn't gain popularity in the U.S. until 2010 and '11, when the band was Grammy-nominated for Best New Artist and Best Rock Song. They did start in the UK, y'all. In 2007, but that's all right.
4. It's okay if you're trying to become a musician right now. Join a DJ crew or create a band that has to have at least six members or more, like Arcade Fire. Q: Heck, no one has done it before, right? A: Wrong.
Now these are just some examples. I'm sure there are many more you could toss out there. And feel free to.
I guess I'm trying to put this in a simpler format. We knew music before you, and that's okay. So instead of smashing our heads into the ground, may I suggest that it is okay for you participants in this pathetic national holiday to be jealous. Reconsider punching a hipster, because you may have just fallen under the spell of the same musical flavors.
To the beef-heads: It is all right if you like the same music as us. It's good!
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No shit. But when someone repeats the musical hipster quote of "I knew this like two years ago," just accept it and try to catch up.
But for us musical hipsters, if you'd prefer not to get smashed in the head by those who do actually treat this as an occasion to punch a hipster, then maybe cut off on the corrections to those mainstreamers and just steer clear for today.