No Swag: Paul Wall's Rumored Young Money Deal, Falling Stages

Despite what you may have heard, swag isn't dead yet; at least not in Houston. Have any swagged-out projects or general ideas? E-mail alliswagoner@gmail.com.

Paul Wall Signs to Young Money? People have been saying that The People's Champ has decided to sign with Lil' Wayne's Young Money Empire. Why?! Why, Paul Wall, would you ever make this decision?

Let them keep Houston's Short Dawg, they don't know any better.They don't know what that star 'bout! They don't know what that Barre 'bout! Guess we can't complain too much, though - it's all speculation. Since his 100-pound weight loss last year, we haven't even felt the same about ol' Pow Wow. We miss the chubby grill master; this Paul Wall.

Swagometer: 0

No swag. This partnership would be worse than that feature he did for Brooke Hogan.

Summer Music Festivals' Worldwide Demise: The Smith Westerns were playing a show in Belgium on Thursday when the stage collapsed, killing three audience members and injuring 70. This is now the fourth incident of its kind this summer, also happening to The Flaming Lips at Tulsa's Brady Block Park; Cheap Trick at Cisco Ottawa Bluesfest; and Sugarland at the Indiana State Fair.

There's a higher power somewhere who is trying to send us a deadly message through the Smith Westerns: Stop booking so many damn summer music festivals. They're deadly. At least seven people have died this summer in stage-related accidents. This particular collapse was caused by a thunderstorm. Despite the weather, however, Pukkelpop Festival still went on and this happened (no, Captain America didn't show up):

Swagometer: -5

Will Cake at BestFest be next? Let's hope not. We predict the next collapse will be at Fun Fun Fun Fest, and not from the weather. It will beTyler, The Creator and his Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill 'Em All crew stomping the stage into oblivion.

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Share the Road:Swagometer went to Mango's Monday night for the reggae/ska band Bending Villa and the Robert Bradshaw Band. It was majorly minors, so we kept to ourselves outside on the patio long enough to see two dudes on bicycles get pulled over by HPD. One of them was celebrating his 30th birthday. Bummer.

This is at least the fifth time in the past few months that we've seen flashing lights at Mango's... what gives? Anyway, bikers: Make sure you stop at the stop signs 'cause bikes are motor vehicles too.

Swagometer: 3

Cunt Killer Debuts at Open Mike Night: Wednesday was Open Mike night at Fitzgerald's as well as Cunt Killer's first public performance. You remember Cunt Killer, right? We talked about them two weeks ago when we got to sit in on a practice session.

This time, we heard the self-proclaimed "weedcore/riot grrl" rock and roll band complete with drums - although still no riot grrl vocals - and it sounded just as quality as we heard it the first time. The band played three instrumentals and, judging by the feedback on Twitter, they killed the cuntpetition.They delivered some quality cuntent.

OK, we'll stop for now, but this was our first time at Fitz's Open Mike, and we were very impressed at the diversity of performers. We saw some comedians - one of whom stole some material from Dave Chapelle, tsk tsk - solo artists, and bands. We even ran into some friends from high school who, like Cunt Killer, were also performing onstage for the first time.

So, if you're an aspiring artist, comedian, juggler, cat trainer or performance artist, come show your stuff. It's every Wednesday night and it's free.

Swagometer: 10

Houston's New York City Queens: Local indie-rock band New York City Queens just released a new video for their song, "Somewhere Different, Something New," and performs Saturday at The Mink with Wicked Poseur. We can see the appeal, even if we're not digging it that deeply.

The girls and boys in the band look like Urban Outfitter models. They took their Facebook page photos with what appears to be a disposable camera, or maybe even a Holga. Anyway, check it out if you like cute boy-girl call-and-response songs, thrift-store shopping, and indie model-type chicks.

Swagometer: 5

This just isn't our cup of green tea, to be honest. It's as cute as The Shins Wincing The Night Away from 2007. It's promising for a really great record deal with Sub Pop, no sardo.

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