I mean, come on...
I mean, come on...
Photo by Mark C. Austin

Oh, God: John Mayer Playing Woodlands Pavilion July 12

Lock up your "Daughters": John Mayer, the soft-rock singer-songwriter and self-styled bluesman, has reportedly split with squeeze Katy Perry, and now -- surely not by coincidence -- he'll be on tour this summer.

This morning Live Nation announced that Mr. Room for Squares will stop by the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion on Friday, July 12, as part of his first significant tour in three years behind last year's album Born and Raised. Even more infuriatingly, one of Mayer's musical spawn, former American Idol winner Phillip Phillips of the ubiquitous song "Home," will be opening the show.

Mayer once inspired one of Rocks Off's interns at the time to write a post called "John Mayer Is Full of Crap." It may have been one of the nicest things we've written about him over the years, though we tried to give him a break in this 2010 review, despite the photo where he looks like he's passing a kidney stone.

But he just makes it so easy sometimes, with his "sexual napalm" comments, that godawful banana-hammock thong and forcing Taylor Swift to write some of her most insidious songs. Although he mostly toned down the cringe-worthy behavior since hooking up with Perry, Lord only knows what he's about to get up to now that he's on the loose again.

Mayer has such an off-putting personality it's easy to forget that he is a talented musician -- a seven-time Grammy winner, in fact. He is unquestionably a better-than-average blues guitarist, and vocal Stevie Ray Vaughan fan, which Rocks Off imagines ranks way down on the list of his admirable qualities for some people.

So have fun with all that. Make sure you stock up on douche repellent or whatever. Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. next Friday, March 29, at livenation.com, Houston area Ticketmaster outlets and by phone at 1-800-745-3000.

And God help us, we'll probably send someone to review the show too.


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