[Note: Monday evening, Houston label and management company Latium Entertainment, which has sold more than 15 million digital singles ringtones of artists such as Baby Bash, Frankie J and Pitbull, celebrated its 10th anniversary at Washington Avenue nighspot Reign Lounge. We had some trouble getting the pictures to transmit Tuesday, but worked it out.] 9:15 p.m.: Dammit. You can always tell how important you are by how early you're asked to get to an event. In case you're keeping score, we're apparently as important several busboys, a creepy looking skinny lady, and a ladder, as those are the only people/things at Reign Lounge with us presently. 9:26 p.m.: We don't know why, but anyone we see taller than 6' 5" we automatically assume them to be famous. Not sure if that's a compliment or an insult, but it's definitely something. 9:45 p.m.: Finally, all of the stars are here. There's Muscleman In A V-Neck, Scion Shirt Dude, Guy With Camera and Sweaty Brow Man. Seriously, are we really less important than Sweaty Brow Man? 9:55 p.m.: Good sign: There's a line starting to build up outside. Bad sign: It's all dudes.
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9:56 p.m.: One of the door guys (we think) has an Australian accent. It's the ultimate cooler. It's like, on the one hand, you just got turned away from a club. But on the other hand, you just got called "mate." That's gotta be an even trade. 10:20 p.m.: There's some action on the red carpet. We're not exactly sure who the artist is, but he's got on a ton of accessories - two necklaces, sunglasses, double-sized wallet chain, watch, earrings - so he's got to be famous. Well, either that or he works at Armani Exchange in the Galleria. Have you ever been in there? Those people are ridiculous. 10:40 p.m.: Lucky Luciano is on the carpet now. He stops and answers a few general questions for us. We don't pester him too much; partly because he clearly works hard to put out music, but mostly because he looks awfully stabby tonight. Never joke around with a dude wearing a backpack that perfectly matches his hat. Never. 10:44 p.m.: There's a drunk obnoxious guy running around hollering at red carpeters trying to ruin the evening's festivities. Finally. That took way longer than we were expecting. If there are two things we've learned about these types of events it's a) someone will always show up wearing a ridiculous pair of pants, and b) a drunk obnoxious guy will inevitably do something retarded. Fingers crossed. 10:45 p.m.: Charles Chavez, CEO of Latium Entertainment, is making his rounds. He stops and speaks. Nice fella. We like guys that are rich but don't feel the need to dress like they are. It's way better than the opposite, which, coincidentally, is what you'll normally find at Reign Lounge. And just so you know where our principles lie, if we ever get rich and are asked to go down a red carpet, we're going to buy is a pair of solid diamond shoes and ice-skate down that bitch. 11:12 p.m.: Rob G is out here. Seems like a good dude - he stopped and spoke about a great idea for a mixtape series he's doing called Both Sides of the Fence where he'll pair himself up with a black rapper - but we're going to have to assume that he's crazy. Why? Because he's got a frigg'n tattoo on his head. Here's a list of guys we know to have tattoos on their heads/faces: Charles Manson, Mike Tyson and Stephon Marbury. Case closed. 11:13 p.m.: Drunk Obnoxious Guy is hollering at Rob G. Cool. It's starting. Security just ran him off. He'll be back. Guaranteed. 11:23 p.m.: And we've got a winner in the Whose Pants Are the Most Ridiculous contest. We thought it was going to be the guy from Versecity who somehow managed to convince himself that leather jeans would be a good idea, but he's been one-upped. The victor is a 6'2" black guy wearing white skinny jeans that have a mic, a horseshoe(?), and a whole bunch of other nonsense scribbled on the left leg. Kudos, Ridiculous Pants Guy. 11:33 p.m.: Baby Bash just showed up. Damn. We're two hours and 18 minutes less important than Baby Bash. That hurts. 11:35 p.m.: Oh snap. Drunk Obnoxious Guy is back. Security was less than nice him this time. The police snatch him up by the arm kindergartner-style and escort him off the premises. Drunk Obnoxious Guy remains one of our favorite party personalities. He's right up there with Inappropriate Comment Man and Overdressed For The Occasion Lady. 11:39 p.m.: Bash is telling us about how he alternates between "Baby Bash," his mainstream persona, and hood persona "Beeshy" in his music. He says: "They got me writing songs for 15-year-olds. They don't even know about my Dope House days." We decide against blatantly pointing out the unintentional comedy of that statement and instead opt for a subtle, "Hey, have you spoken to Carlos [Coy, aka SPM]?" Bash proclaims his innocence, telling a kinda convincing story about how he was set up. 11:50 p.m.: Pitbull just showed up and we're not sure how to feel. See, there are likeable things about him tonight - he came dressed in an understated but classy suit, he's devoid of a massive entourage, and he's very accommodating to everyone's requests - but there are also unlikeable things about him: he's still Pitbull. It's a toss-up. 11:52 p.m.: Pit stops and speaks. He is genuinely unrushed, which is unexpected. He smells important. (Yeah, we smelled him. Is that really a surprise?) He has a bunch of nice things to say about Charles and Latium Entertainment. In retrospect, everyone we spoke to did. It's easy to see how his company has stayed relevant for so many years. 12:00 a.m.: Red carpet is getting shut down. No Cham and no Slim Thug, but otherwise the evening seemed successful. Big ups to PR lady Brianne Pins, who ran a smooth show tonight, Charles Chavez and Latium Entertainment, and Possibly Arrested Drunk Obnoxious Guy.