The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place -lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good- so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This Week's Rapper: Preemo
This Week's Subject(s): Ludacris's Humanitarianism
In honor of the greatest show on earth (the HPMAs), we've taken to interviewing only HPMA nominees for the Ask A Rapper and Artist of the Week weekly segments. It's an ego-stroke sort of thing.
This week we tapped Preemo, the lithe-voiced dark horse in the Best Latino Hip-Hop category. He absolutely should win this, by the way. Only Coast should be able to challenge him, but he didn't release anything as strong as Preemo's Concrete Dreams. The other guys aren't in the conversation. Sorry.
We hit him with a bunch of awards. He dodged several of them. It was stuff like The Golden Raspberry, which is given out each year to a horrible actor or actress. He's a nice guy like that. Below are the answers he fired off on his iPhone while waiting for a train or something cool like that.
Ask A Rapper: Ludacris was recently awarded a Humanitarian Award. This, mind you, for a guy that wrote a song championing the "Pussy Poppin' In A Handstand" move. People change, we guess. Anyway, we're going to throw some awards at you, you tell us which rappers would win those awards.
Oh, and just to make it a little more difficult, you have to pick guys that have been nominated for an HPMA, either in the Best Underground, Latino or Mainstream categories. And you'll need a one or two explanation why. And we're off...
The Bent Spoon Award, which is given to people who are fronting about something, basically. See: "Geller, Uri."
Preemo: Bent spoon. Me. For thinking I give good interviews.
AAR: Nobel Peace Prize, which is given to someone who's made a great contribution to the world.
P: Nobel Peace to Devin. That's easy. Swishas, 'dro and smooth beats; that's a recipe for peace. They should send Devin in before the U.N. whenever there's a conflict in the world. He could throw a concert and everybody would chill.
Note: True. Unless everybody was expecting the show to start anywhere near the 8 p.m. start time he'd promote. Then they'd be super-pissed. Never, ever show up to a Devin show before 11:30 p.m.
AAR: Pulitzer Prize, which is an award for achievements in journalism or writing, I think. Past winners somehow do not include the Ask A Rapper segment.
P: Pulitzer: Coast. This dude's been grinding for a long time and Mastering his craft nicely. That's what journalists get it for, right?
AAR: Lifetime Achievement Award, which is given basically for being awesome your entire life.
P: Lifetime Achievement. Bun B. This one's way too easy. It's no competition. Come on, man. It's Bun. What else can you say?
Note: You can't say anything. This is the only acceptable answer.