Rebecca, according to some etymologists, means "earth" or "soil." So when the sixth seal is opened and an earthquake hits the whole planet turning the sun black, could it possibly be any more of a reference to Rebecca Black?

Since we all know that the Internet is the guiding light of modern thought, our sun growing the weeds of mind if you will, it can be easily assumed that people who were watching her video were not at the time doing anything else. Her earthquake turned the sun black, Rebecca Black that is.

Let's not gild the lily here. The music video for "Friday" gave us all serious pause about what exactly has gone wrong with the music world that we used to know and love. It was frightening that the damned thing even existed, let alone became more popular than we could have possibly imagined.

It overshadowed many other brilliant music videos by destroying the desire of people to view any music videos at all. Heaven, as in music, did indeed "depart as a scroll when it is rolled together, and every mountain and island," which is to say other more talented and deserving artists, were moved out of their places.

Rocks Off can't speak for you because we're so busy speaking for God, but as musicians we lost a lot of faith the act of music itself upon the rise of "Friday." If we're shaken to the bone, it's possible that "the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men" might go into shameful hiding in the face of the "Friday's" Wal-Martian takeover of the media.

"Well," you say, "It's over now. We can rest easy." Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? After the sixth seal comes the seventh seal, and after the seventh seal you can put the chairs up on the tables of the planet and lock the door on your way out. The end is nigh, sinners.

Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand.