Screwston, Texas

Remember K-Rino's Worst Rapper Alive?

Houston's history is dotted with albums that, fairly or un, have been swept aside. We'll examine them here. Have an album that you think nobody knows about but should? Email [email protected].

K-Rino Worst Rapper Alive (Black Book International, 2006)

K-Rino's latest album, Annihilation of the Evil Machine, will officially go on sale this Sunday from at a listening party from 7-10 p.m. at Club Forbidden (8101 Airport). All the proceeds will go to benefit a Houston landmark: K-Rino. Oh, also, Rapper K and Sniper will be releasing an album that night as well. Also, K-Rino's Birthday Bash will be held at the same location on September 11. Go to that too. Unless you hate America, that is.

Ah, K-Rino. Forgotten in the hearts of many Houston rap fans, but deified within the e-walls of Rocks Off. He is, perhaps, one of the most venerated, respected underground rappers in the city's history, name-dropped at one point or another by just about every hip-hop person of significance in Houston.

Y'allmustaforgotability: 97 percent

This is the second time K-Rino has landed in the YMF column, with his last album earning a Y'almustaforgotability rating of 91 percent. That means he's averaging a 94 percent Y'allmustaforgotability rating for his career. Sad, right?

Read what Y'allmustaforgotability means.

Best Song on the Album: "Break It Down"

Oh my. Remember this? This is the one where he started near every bar with a question or a subject word, then broke it down into an acronym. That description is probably confusing as shit. Here, here's an example. This is how the hook went:

"Break it down, so you can understand it better/ Even if I gotta bust these words down letter by letter."

Then he'd say something like it:

"HOPE: Having Optimism, Possibly Everything will be alright"


"What is MIND? Mental Intellect, Natural Deepness an infinite place. In any case, a terrible thing to waste."

The whole song goes on like that. Do you understand how difficult and clever that is? Of course not. But, hey, that "Pretty Boy Swag" song by Soulja Boy is pretty rad, right?

Best Line on the Album: From "Break It Down"

"BUSH: Babylon Under Satan's Hand. The devil's the man, catch him on C-Span, dropping New World Order plans."

Best Feature on the Album: K.B. of Street Military on "Aggression"

Does this really need an explanation?

Obscure Fact(s) You Can Pawn Off As Your Own To Make Yourself Look Smart:

  • The title of this album is actually a backwards jab at all of the rappers who were claiming themselves to be the Greatest Rapper Alive back in 2005/6. K-Rino picked that title because he wanted to be as far away from those sirs as possible.
  • One of K-Rino's strengths as a rapper, which might actually peek its head over into the weakness category, is that he has absolutely no problem focusing on one particular point on an album and making sure it gets crushed into oblivion; he's very thematic and whatnot. He upped that trademark here not only with the name, but also the cover.

If you'll notice, it's particularly shoddy. He's wearing a plain grey shirt with obvious sweat stains on it (the picture was taken shortly after a pick-up basketball game), his hair is not cleaned up and the empty space around him is filled with that drab slate color. It's the exact opposite of what the cover of a rap album should look. Or, it's exactly how the worst rapper alive's album should look.

Booyah. Suck on them cherries.

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Shea Serrano