Houston's history is dotted with albums that, fairly or un, have been swept aside. We'll examine them here. Have an album that you think nobody knows about but should? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Yungstar Throwed Yung Playa (Straight Profit Records, 1999)
Man, remember Yungstar, the acute-voiced MC that sprung into the troposhere following his mammoth appearance in Lil Troy's hit "Wanna Be A Baller," then solidified his place in Houston hip-hop history with the anachronistic anthem "Knockin' Pictures Off Da Wall," then vanished from relevance shortly thereafter when his brand of rap fell out of favor?
His story isn't unique to rap - or music, for that matter - but that doesn't make it feel any less unfair or brutal.
Y'allmustaforgotability: 72 percent
Best Instance of Braggadocio on the Album:
Save one or two pieces, this entire album is caked in braggadocio, be it assertions of having white tigers on leashes as house pets, an obscene amount of grain in need of being gripped, or, our personal favorite, a joint "TV with a VCR" (Lil Flip, "Grippin' Grain"). But the best, most interesting line comes from the humming, otherwise skippable "Got's 2 be Everything":
"Butt naked mermaids... spittin' water... in my fountain."
You say you have mermaids? Sure, but are they butt-naked? And do they spit water? And do they live in your own personal fountain? Face, son.
Also, some loose ends worth contemplating: Why are they spitting water? Is that supposed to be sexy? Couldn't he have said they were bathing (since they're already naked and all) or making out with each other (since they're already naked and all) or just standing there (since they're naked and all)?
And how big is that fountain? Is it filled with salt water, so the mermaids can have at least a semblance of normal mermaid life? Or is it filled with something exotic, like white chocolate syrup? Where is this fountain located? He mentions later in the same verse that he lives in a castle with golden stairs, so we assume it's located somewhere in there, but that's only a guess.
What does a mermaid eat? Do mermaids have to brush their teeth? How old are these mermaids? What happens to old mermaids? Are they thrown back into the ocean? If they're released back to the ocean, do they have a hard time re-acclimating themselves to ocean life like Brooks did in The Shawshank Redemption?
Are they readily accepted back by the mermaid community? Is there a stigma that comes within having been fountainized? Do they still spit water? Can they...
This shit could go on forever.
2nd Best Song on the Album:
Clearly, "Knockin' Pictures Off Da Wall" is the best song from this album. If this album were the Chicago Bulls, it'd be Derrick Rose. The second best? That's a tad more complex. It's definitely between the aforementioned "T.Y.P.," a bouncey, synthy track that eventually unfurls itself into a tidy MJ homage (it's the Joakim Noah of the album), and "Keep it Real," the counterpoint to Destiny Child's "Bills, Bills, Bills" (the Carlos Boozer of the album). Which one is better depends on what it is you need done at that particular time.
Obscure Fact That You Can Pawn Off As Your Own To Make Yourself Sound Smart:
There were two versions of this album; the original, and the one that got re-released following the success of the original. This one, the better one, the original, features two songs that weren't on the homogenized version: "TYP," a fried modernization of Michael Jackson's iconic "PYT," and "June 27," a bonus track that is nearly 20 minutes long and features 945 other rappers.
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