Kenny Rogers brings his vast collection of hits and the plastic-surgery disaster he calls a face to Jones Hall to perform with the Houston Symphony tonight, and obviously Rocks Off's extremities are sweating profusely in anticipation. Not because he can't wait to hear "She Believes in Me" with full orchestral backup, but because we're such huge fans of his Kenny Rogers Roasters chain of restaurants, featured in one of our favorite Seinfeld episodes. The Roasters chain is mostly confined to Asia these days, giving the Filipino government a convenient place to dispose of all those avian-flu-infected carcasses. Still, Rogers' return to his hometown got us thinking about other... inspired celebrity products.
It probably took Perry a good long time to finally settle on "Rock Your World" as a suitable brand name, and we understand. Condiments don't really fly off the shelves if they have the words "Toxic Twins" somewhere on the label.Dirt McGirt Rap Snacks
To our knowledge, the only product Ol' Dirty Bastard ever officially endorsed; repeatedly getting busted on both coasts tends to make marketing types skittish. The "hip-hop inspired" line of treats is still in existence, though now they stick to somewhat less controversial personalities like Yung Joc and Romeo. How very "dope."
Because "Booty Shake Yourself Thin" and "Carmen Electra Kickboxing (feat. Dennis Rodman)" never really got off the drawing board, we guess.
Current rappers' protestations that the word "pimp" doesn't mean what it used to doesn't make drinking something that sounds like what you'd get if you milked a chickenshit misogynist who beats women and steals their money any more appetitzing, quite frankly.
Wyman, an avid amateur archaeologist, designedhis own metal detector
when he was unable to find a suitable beginner model for his daughter. It's a sweet sentiment, but doesn't stop us from wondering why a guy who probably wipes his "bum" with 1,000€ notes seems so obsessed with treasure hunting.Kenny "The Roaster" Rogers performs with the Houston Symphony, 7:30 p.m. tonight at Jones Hall, 615 Louisiana. For tickets see www.houstonsymphony.org.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.