Electric Rodeo

Rocks Off's Rodeo Concert Guide: Black Eyed Peas, Purveyors Of Humps

Date: March 18

Name: Black Eyed Peas

AKA: "Fergie and Three Other Guys"

Genre: Crap-hop

Best Known Song(s): "Where is the Love?," "My Humps," "Check Out Our Singer's Cans"

Key Demographic: The tone-deaf, confused Fugees fans, victims of poisoning without ready access to Ipecac

Previous HLSR Appearances: none

Houston Connections, If Any: Fergie's part owner of the Miami Dolphins, who are in the AFC with the Texans

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Anesthesia-less oral surgery, strangled cats, irony-free viewing of Harmony Korine's films

Odds of Wearing a Hat: Odds are almost 100% at least one of the Peas will sport some headwear at some point during the show. Fergie and apl.de.ap are especially fond of them.

Because He/She's Bald? We don't think so, but Fergie could be wearing a wig to hide meth-induced baldness

Odds of Onstage Injury: 50-50: there are four of them jumping around up there, so it's bound to happen at some point

Number of Pre-Teen Girls Who Will Be Gyrating to "My Humps" Tonight While Their Parents Cluelessly Check Email on Their Blackberries: Approximately 4,000

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar