The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
Date: March 6
Name: Dierks Bentley
AKA: "Rhymes with 'jerks.'"
What Kind of Music Is It? Genero-country.
Have I Heard Any of His Songs? They may have drifted over the transom of your consciousness and you weren't even aware, possibly while you were out back puking.
Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? Look at that hair. He knows.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) For Pre-Show Raging? Bud Light and a shot of lower-alcohol Maker's Mark.
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt?. Sure, Bentley will probably be wearing his.
Will There Be Chicks There? Signs point to yes.
Will We Get into a Fight? Does that still impress the ladies? Did it ever? These are things we tell ourselves when justifying our lifelong cowardice.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes," "Long Trip Alone."
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Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch SportsCenter? Don't they replay SC like, ten times a night? It's a toss-up.