The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
Date: February 25
Name: Toby Keith
AKA: "That dude on the Ford commercials"
What Kind of Music Is It? Patriot country
Have I Heard Any of His Songs? In 30-second increments during any given college football game
Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? Probably, but he's got big fingers, so we doubt he's risked it.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Budweiser and Wild Shot Mezcal
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt? We'd stick with NWO or Tapout.
Will There Be Chicks There? You up for a little MILF action, bro?
Will We Get into a Fight? Keith's shows always attract bikers and veterans, so choose wisely. Look for the guy in a Harley-Davidson shirt and $300 shoes.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "As Good As I Once Was," "I Wanna Talk About Me"
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Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Entourage? Is it the episode where Ari goes ballistic? Tough call. That's such a good show.