The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
Date: February 25
Name: Toby Keith
AKA: "That dude on the Ford commercials"
What Kind of Music Is It? Patriot country
Have I Heard Any of His Songs? In 30-second increments during any given college football game
Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? Probably, but he's got big fingers, so we doubt he's risked it.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Budweiser and Wild Shot Mezcal
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt? We'd stick with NWO or Tapout.
Will There Be Chicks There? You up for a little MILF action, bro?
Will We Get into a Fight? Keith's shows always attract bikers and veterans, so choose wisely. Look for the guy in a Harley-Davidson shirt and $300 shoes.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "As Good As I Once Was," "I Wanna Talk About Me"
Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Entourage? Is it the episode where Ari goes ballistic? Tough call. That's such a good show.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.