The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.
Date: February 28
Name: Zac Brown Band
AKA: "That guy with the beanie."
What Kind of Music Is It? Grateful country
Have I Heard Any of His Songs? "Chicken Fried," most likely. Maybe their duets with Jimmy Buffett ("Margaritaville") or Alan Jackson ("As She's Walking Away").
Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? Brown was a frat boy at the University of West Georgia in the late '90s. He knows.
Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Weed and craft beer.
Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt? Not if you want to slam. Speaking of which...
Will There Be Chicks There? Definitely, and of the bohemian variety, so you'll have to fake sincerity.
Will We Get into a Fight? After smoking weed? Good luck.
Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "Goodbye in Her Eyes," "Keep Me in Mind."
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Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Dog, the Bounty Hunter? Check out the show. Bonus: Someone might be selling acid in the parking lot.