The Rocks Off Rodeo Concert Guide is our annual helpful(?) primer for those of you unsure about your HLSR music choices for the big event at Reliant Stadium.

Date: March 12

Name: Kenny Chesney

AKA: "You'd think a guy that rich could afford shirts with sleeves."

What Kind of Music Is It? When "Margaritaville" met K-Tel.

Have I Heard Any of His Songs? Most definitely. The dude is nothing if not prolific, so anything from "You Had Me at Hello" to "There Goes My Life" to "Somewhere with You."

Does He Know What "The Shocker" Is? It's probably why he wears his jeans so tight.

Appropriate Controlled Substance(s) for Pre-Show Raging? Ritas made with Cabo Wabo tequila.

Can I Wear My Affliction T-Shirt? Just make sure to cut the sleeves off.

Will There Be Chicks There? Dude.

Will We Get into a Fight? What kind of guy hits a woman? That's more of a Rodney Atkins thing.

Best Song(s) to Leave to Take a Dump? "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy," "How Forever Feels." Everything from Everywhere We Go, basically.

Check Out the Show or Stay Home and Watch Duck Dynasty? Oh, what will that wacky Uncle Sy say next?

• Electric Rodeo
• Playbill