Electric Rodeo

Rocks Off's Rodeo Concert Guide: Mary J. Blige And Jason Aldean

Date: March 5

Name: Mary J. Blige

AKA: "One of These Artists is Not Like the Others"

Genre: Neither country nor western

Best Known Song(s): "Real Love," "Not Gon' Cry," "The One (AT&T Dance Remix)"

Key Demographic: Older R&B listeners, Entourage fans who want to impress black chicks

Previous HLSR Appearances: 2002 (and she wasn't wearing a hat)

Houston Connections, If Any: Has sung duets with Whitney

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Fellow RodeoHouston 2010 performers the Black Eyed Peas (maybe)

Odds of Wearing a Hat: 12%, based solely on a cursory Google image search

Because He/She's Bald? Unlikely.

Odds of Onstage Injury: Low, maybe 10-15%, thanks to the possibly lethal combination of long gowns and heels.

Odds Her Set Lasts Longer than 45 Minutes: .01%

Date: March 6

Name: Jason Aldean

AKA: "The Scruffy One"

Genre: Wuss country

Best Known Song(s): "The Truth," She's Country," "Why"

Key Demographic: Tractor enthusiasts who have never actually ridden one, women who like scraggly beards and earrings but think Capt. Jack Sparrow is too queer

Previous HLSR Appearances: None

Houston Connections, If Any: The original spelling of his middle name is "Aldine," which is pretty much all we've got.

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Bryan Adams (but not the earlier, "hard" stuff), that one country-sounding Gin Blossoms song

Odds of Wearing a Hat: 100%

Because He/She's Bald? Unknown. He's only 32, but we totally knew this guy in high school who was already 75% hairless. What we mean is, maybe.

Odds of Onstage Injury: Low. Aldean is still young, and therefore has yet to resort to Garth Brooks-style theatrics to keep his audience.

Pending Endorsements: John Deere, Burma-Shave

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar