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Rocks Off's Rodeo Concert Guide: Mary J. Blige And Jason Aldean

Date:

March 5

Name:

Mary J. Blige

AKA:

"One of These Artists is Not Like the Others"

Genre:

Neither country nor western

Best Known Song(s):

"Real Love," "Not Gon' Cry," "The One (AT&T Dance Remix)"

Key Demographic:

Older R&B listeners,

Entourage

fans who want to impress black chicks

Previous HLSR Appearances:

2002 (and she

wasn't wearing a hat

)

Houston Connections, If Any:

Has sung duets with Whitney

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like:

Fellow RodeoHouston 2010 performers the Black Eyed Peas (maybe)

Odds of Wearing a Hat:

12%, based solely on a cursory Google image search

Because He/She's Bald?

Unlikely.

Odds of Onstage Injury:

Low, maybe 10-15%, thanks to the possibly lethal combination of long gowns and heels.

Odds Her Set Lasts Longer than 45 Minutes:

.01%

Date:

March 6

Name:

Jason Aldean

AKA:

"The Scruffy One"

Genre:

Wuss country

Best Known Song(s):

"The Truth," She's Country," "Why"

Key Demographic:

Tractor enthusiasts who have never actually ridden one, women who like scraggly beards and earrings but think Capt. Jack Sparrow is too queer

Previous HLSR Appearances:

None

Houston Connections, If Any:

The original spelling of his middle name is "Aldine," which is pretty much all we've got.

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like:

Bryan Adams (but not the earlier, "hard" stuff), that one country-sounding Gin Blossoms song

Odds of Wearing a Hat:

100%

Because He/She's Bald?

Unknown. He's only 32, but we totally knew this guy in high school who was already 75% hairless. What we mean is, maybe.

Odds of Onstage Injury:

Low. Aldean is still young, and therefore has yet to resort to Garth Brooks-style theatrics to keep his audience.

Pending Endorsements:

John Deere, Burma-Shave

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