Rocks Off's Rodeo Concert Guide: The Jonas Brothers

Pete Vonder Haar March 7, 2010 12:00PM

Date: March 7

Name: The Jonas Brothers

AKA: "JOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!!!!!"

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Genre: Parent-approved pop

Best Known Song(s): "Burnin' Up," "SOS," "Lick My Love Pump"

Key Demographic: Daughters of women who swooned over Duran Duran, themselves the offspring of rabid Monkees fans...the circle of vaguely androgynous pop idolatry continues.

Previous HLSR Appearances: 2009

Houston Connections, If Any: Chris Gray's favorite movie is Camp Rock [Ed. Note: He's not lying.]

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Under the bra/over the panties, Harbor Mist, reruns of the Krofft Superstar Hour

Odds of Wearing a Hat: <10%

Because He/She's Bald? Nope. If they wear hats, it'll be a brief, non-ironic donning of a borrowed Resistol to show they "get" their Texas fans. Otherwise the curly locks will flow freely.

Odds of Onstage Injury: Have the two remaining celibate ones exploded yet? If not, 75%.

Odds Their Set Will Be Inaudible Due to Adolescent Screeching: 90-95%

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.

Contact: Pete Vonder Haar

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