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Rocks Off's Rodeo Concert Guide: The Jonas Brothers

Date:

March 7

Name:

The Jonas Brothers

AKA:

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!!!!!"

Genre:

Parent-approved pop

Best Known Song(s):

"Burnin' Up," "SOS," "Lick My Love Pump"

Key Demographic:

Daughters of women who swooned over Duran Duran, themselves the offspring of rabid Monkees fans...the circle of vaguely androgynous pop idolatry continues.

Previous HLSR Appearances:

2009

Houston Connections, If Any:

Chris Gray's favorite movie is

Camp Rock[Ed. Note: He's not lying.]If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like:

Under the bra/over the panties, Harbor Mist, reruns of the

Krofft Superstar Hour Odds of Wearing a Hat:

Because He/She's Bald? Nope. If they wear hats, it'll be a brief, non-ironic donning of a borrowed Resistol to show they "get" their Texas fans. Otherwise the curly locks will flow freely.

Odds of Onstage Injury:

Have the two remaining celibate ones exploded yet? If not, 75%.

Odds Their Set Will Be Inaudible Due to Adolescent Screeching:

90-95%

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