March 7
Name:The Jonas Brothers
AKA:"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!!!!!"
Genre:Parent-approved pop
Best Known Song(s):"Burnin' Up," "SOS," "Lick My Love Pump"
Key Demographic:Daughters of women who swooned over Duran Duran, themselves the offspring of rabid Monkees fans...the circle of vaguely androgynous pop idolatry continues.
Previous HLSR Appearances:2009
Houston Connections, If Any:Chris Gray's favorite movie is
Camp Rock[Ed. Note: He's not lying.]If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like:Under the bra/over the panties, Harbor Mist, reruns of the
Krofft Superstar Hour Odds of Wearing a Hat:Because He/She's Bald? Nope. If they wear hats, it'll be a brief, non-ironic donning of a borrowed Resistol to show they "get" their Texas fans. Otherwise the curly locks will flow freely.
Odds of Onstage Injury:Have the two remaining celibate ones exploded yet? If not, 75%.
Odds Their Set Will Be Inaudible Due to Adolescent Screeching:90-95%
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