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March 7
Name:The Jonas Brothers
AKA:"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!!!!!"
Genre:Parent-approved pop
Best Known Song(s):"Burnin' Up," "SOS," "Lick My Love Pump"
Key Demographic:Daughters of women who swooned over Duran Duran, themselves the offspring of rabid Monkees fans...the circle of vaguely androgynous pop idolatry continues.
Previous HLSR Appearances:2009
Houston Connections, If Any:Chris Gray's favorite movie is
Camp Rock[Ed. Note: He's not lying.]If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like:Under the bra/over the panties, Harbor Mist, reruns of the
Krofft Superstar Hour Odds of Wearing a Hat:Because He/She's Bald? Nope. If they wear hats, it'll be a brief, non-ironic donning of a borrowed Resistol to show they "get" their Texas fans. Otherwise the curly locks will flow freely.
Odds of Onstage Injury:Have the two remaining celibate ones exploded yet? If not, 75%.
Odds Their Set Will Be Inaudible Due to Adolescent Screeching:90-95%
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.
