Rocks Off's Ultra-Hip Rodeo Concert Guide: Eli Young Band

Date: March 5

Name: Eli Young Band

AKA: "The band that performed the worst rendition of the National Anthem since Roseanne."

Genre: Bummer country

Best Known Song(s): "Crazy Girl," "Even If It Breaks Your Heart,"

Key Demographic: Fans of The Bridges of Madison County, emo FFA kids, Fashion Bug's "Pattern of the Month" club members.

Previous HLSR Appearance(s): 2010

Houston Connections, If Any: The band hails from Denton, which, like Houston, is proud of the fact it's not Dallas.

If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Rascal Flatts, The Notebook, those cheesy .38 Special videos from the 1980s (go watch the video for "Crazy Girl" if you don't believe us).

Odds of Wearing a Hat: 75 percent

Because He/She's Bald? Well, the bass player is bald, but the guitarist favors ironic fedoras.

Odds of Onstage Injury: Slim. That would imply some level of moving around.

Odds of Rocks Off Bitching That These Guys Are More Successful Than Slobberbone (Our Personal Favorite Denton Export): 100 percent

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