Date: March 6
Name: Enrique Iglesias
AKA: “What happened to your mole?”
Genre: Music to throw panties onstage to
Best Known Song(s): “Bailamos,” “Hero,” “I Like It,” “Quitate Los Pantalones“
Key Demographic: Students of Romance languages…or novels, pool-boy fetishists, dudes secretly hoping to get a glimpse of Anna Kournikova
Previous HLSR Appearance(s): 1999-2000, 2004
Houston Connections, If Any: “Iglesia” means “church” in Spanish. We have a shitload of churches in H-Town.
If You Like This, Chances Are You’ll Like: K-Tel’s Love Tracks, Y tu mamá también, Julio Iglesias
Odds of Wearing a Hat: 5 percent
Because He/She’s Bald? Enrique has hair you’d just love to run your fingers through (or so we assume…cough). Why cover that up?
Odds of Onstage Injury: 10 percent. We’re confident HLSR security can keep the hordes of crazed females behind the barricades.
Odds of Those Jersey Shore People Making a Guest Appearance: If there truly is a god, zero percent.
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This article appears in Mar 1-7, 2012.
