Date: March 16
AKA: "Too Bad They're Not Called 'Plane,' Then My Vomiting In This Airsick Bag Would Be Technically Correct"
Genre: Ubiquitous annoyo-pop
Best Known Song(s): "Meet Virginia," "Drops of Jupiter," "Hey Soul Sister"
Key Demographic: People who: check out Mozart while they do Tae Bo, act like summer and walk like rain, listen like spring and talk like June
Previous HLSR Appearance(s): First Rodeo appearance
Houston Connections, If Any: Houston has a lot of trains, and we feel like throwing ourselves under one every time we hear that goddamned "Hey Soul Sister" song.
If You Like This, Chances Are You'll Like: Only drinking coffee at midnight, smoking a pack a day (wait, that's me), wearing high heels when you exercise... you're a flake, in other words.
Odds of Wearing a Hat: 10 percent
Because He/She's Bald? Because they're trying to be ironic, man.
Odds of Onstage Injury: Only if a helpful HLSR volunteer opens the bull enclosure and mercifully stampedes them out of our misery.
Odds of The Crowd Wondering What Genius Scheduled These Mopes to Play The Freaking Rodeo: 100 billion percent
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.