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Sexual Napalm: Ill-Advised Rock-Star Hookups, Starring Our Boy John Mayer

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Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil

Train wrecks and douchebags go together like strawberries and cream, so what this coupling lacked in Unique it made up for in Disgusting. He was constantly getting arrested, she was constantly flaking out on gigs and disappearing for weeks at a time, and together they slithered through the London streets, drinking paint thinner and flinging scabs at paparazzi.

No one likes an enabler: Thanks in part to Blake, Amy deteriorated quickly from a decent-looking English girl to some kind of bat-goblin that steals children and strips copper wire with its teeth. She divorced him last year. It will no doubt be better for her than rehab. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley

Speaking of bat-goblins, anyone remember Michael Jackson's first marriage in 1994? He married the daughter of the one and only King, Lisa Marie Presley, supposedly after she provided him with emotional support during Jackson's struggles with child molestation charges. Seeing them together was eerie enough, but the video for Jackson's schmaltzy "You Are Not Alone" managed to up the ick factor a thousand-fold.

Yup, they're naked! Pasty, girlish Michael... Lisa Marie, who's a hot chick until she turns around and we see Elvis' face... excuse us while we step outside and vomit everything we've ever eaten.

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John Seaborn Gray