Kill Us Now, Please

Six Bands You Didn't Know Were Still Around

Tuesday on Rocks Off, we discussed some bands who broke up with barely anyone taking notice, probably because most of those bands sucked anyway. But friends, the suck never stops. It will not end and it will not quit. It is all-pervasive, and it lives on in the spirit of every shitty band who is still performing without you even noticing they're still around.

These are those bands: the worst of the worst scene bands and one-hit-wonders who managed to scrape a career out of jumping on trends and are still going against all odds. These ones didn't break up without you noticing, they just kept plugging away without you noticing, and progressively ruining the world with their awful sounds.

Chevelle Somehow Chevelle, who plays Bayou Music Center tomorrow, keeps going and going. They've pretty much been sucking since 1995, and do still manage to sell a decent enough amount of records. You might have heard a song from their new one, La Gargola, on 94.5 The Buzz.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure how alternative metal became a thing in the first place. I'm guessing it was a compromise for people for whom Nirvana was not heavy enough but Metallica was too heavy. In any case, they ended up with bands like this, who wave the flag for alternative-metal to this day.

Five Finger Death Punch You know what sucks? Not only is Five Finger Death Punch still a band for some reason, but they aren't just content to put out their own bad music. They also have taken lately to covering good, classic songs like "House of the Rising Sun" and ruining those.

Not only is this video horrible, but it also shoehorns in some of their own "original" music at the beginning, so you can get down with the heaviness before FFDP treats you to their update on the '60s blues-rock classic.

Sevendust "Kicking ass" (citation needed) since 1994, these guys lived through the nu-metal era and lived to tell the tale, mostly by jumping on and off bandwagons with extreme rapidity. The best thing that can really be said about Sevendust is that they're a little heavier than your typical alt-metal band, at least if your barometer for heavy begins at Godsmack and ends at Godsmack.

By the way, Godsmack is still a thing too. They're not on this list because they have forced us all to notice that they're still a thing. They aren't nearly as awful as Sevendust, though, so there is that.

Saliva Oh, you thought it was over? No, it's never over. Saliva called it quits for a little while after their singer Josey Scott left to do Christian rock in 2011, but have come back with a vengeance. Don't ask me how they kept it going after the dulcet tones of "Click Click Boom" became dated, but they've found a way.

If Saliva's new song, "Rise Up," is any indication, they just decided to become Filter. Filter is also still a band, by the way. Ugh.

List continues on the next page.

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Corey Deiterman