So We're Twerking In Unicorn Suits Now, Are We?

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

I suppose if you're going to post a twerking video taken while you're wearing your footy pajamas, they should be of the unicorn variety. It makes the whole thing more magical.

In case you've been living under a rock (or have a job that requires you to do more than watch YouTube videos all day), Miley Cyrus has done us a solid by uploading a Twitter video of -- you guessed it -- her twerking skills while wearing a unicorn onesie. Yeah, I know. It fucks with my mind too.

For those of you unfamiliar with just what the hell twerking is, let me give you this -- Urban Dictionary (yeah, I went there) defines twerking as "the rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter in ones intended audience."

See Also:

Miley Cyrus Wants You To Think She Is Crazy, Which Means She Is Not (Art Attack)

If that isn't clear enough for you, I asked a friend what differentiates twerking from just plain ol' dancing, and he informed me that it has to do with "well-controlled muscle contractions." Yeah, I giggled too.

Miley's video is just the most recent in a laundry list of twerking escapades to be captured on film; there's Walmart twerking, twerking gone wrong, twerking gone wild, and (in case you're twerk-challenged) how-to-twerk videos.

Welcome to the next meme to run rampant across your Facebook feed. You can thank Miley for this one; as far as I can tell, despite the zillions of twerk videos, she's the first celebrity to post a meme version of the hypnotic dance.

So here's the deal. We all know how this song-and-dance goes; a celebrity creates a video doing something entirely stupid (although in this case, magical) and the whole world jumps on the bandwagon and uploads memes in response.

We've Dougied, Gangnam Styled, and Harlem Shook right along with the next person. But think about it -- I can teach you how to Dougie without teaching you how to contract your booty muscles in time to the music. Slight (SFW versus NSFW) difference.

That being said, I'd like to give you some food for thought: does anyone really need to see the entire office marketing team try to twerk on a viral video? Let's leave this meme to the professionals, folks. The professionals and the unicorns.

Below are some of the better twerking videos I've seen. Better watch 'em now; it's only a matter of time before that list includes the Kardashians and Ryan Seacrest.

Walmart Twerking Way to desecrate the cakes, lady.

Parking Lot Twerking This almost never happens when I pull into the Office Depot parking lot.

Mollie Twerking The Saturdays' Mollie King jumps on the twerking bandwagon, sans unicorn costume.

Twerking Fails Yeah, pretty much what it sounds like. It's painful to watch.

Aaaand, the Best Male Twerker Alive Talk amongst yourselves, children. I've got to go sanitize my eyeballs.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.