A few tips, if I may, on crafting a playlist as well as other things:
- If you really feel the need to play a slow song, strategically plant it in the middle of the playlist, so he/she physically cannot get up and change it.
- While it is most definitely one party's job to bring protection, it’s best if the other party has backup protection in the event the first party doesn’t have his shit together or in the event more than what was provided is needed.
- Oh, I guess for married couples— lock the door? But that does limit activities to the bedroom…
Without further adieu, and in the tone of Usher: they call us H-O-U-S-T-O-N P-R-ESS, now baby tell me you want you wanna do with me.
“In The Sunshine (Lion Boy Electrify Remix)” by Cali Satellites, TIAAN, Lion Boy: Maybe I’m dead. Maybe he’s dead? Are we all dead? This song is the ultimate “so good I might be dead” jam.
“Drowning (Avicii Remix)” by Armin Van Buuren, Laura V, Avicii: This song makes me want to fall into a massive, neon ball pit and have you come find me. That OR wheels up at IAH to some metropolitan party island, end up selling all your stuff back home via Craigslist, accepting trust fund money to open a trattoria, and writing romance-novels-on-the-side at a fully-staffed villa. And by fully-staffed that means: dudes to chauffeur you places when you’re not whipping around in a 2020 McLaren.
“Be In Love” by Baynk: Subtle, rhythmic background synth could jazz even the sleepiest of listeners into motion. In the nursing home, those kind of keyboard strokes lead to STD’s. Just kidding, I love ya’ll. Please continue to have lots of wild sex. Do it for the too-tired thirty-somethings with kids.
“Morning” by Marc E Bassy: Can you imagine waking up to a voice like this? Lyrics like this? Damn. I don’t know. My eyelash might be hanging, but did you want to get my number?!?
“Get Free” by Major Lazer, Amber Coffman: A full day has come and gone wearing nothing but thin, waterproof cloth and now it’s time to peel even that off in the outdoor shower next to the beach house.
“Last Night A D.J. Saved My Life” by Indeep: How many times has a DJ saved your life? Exactly.
“Caroline” by Aminé: Aminé, when you say: “let’s get gory like a Tarantino movie,” do you mean like Once Upon A Time In Hollywood or more like Kill Bill: Volume 1? Yeah, rough might be in order for this one.
“Love Serenade (Pt.1 and II)” by Barry White: POLAR BEAR SKIN RUG. WHITE RUSSIAN(‘S.) 78 DEGREES INSIDE LIKE YOU LIKE IT. LARGE HAWAIIAN PIZZA ON THE WAY. OH WAIT IT’S JUST ME.
“Go F*** Yourself” by Two Feet: And just like that— the stairway bannister gets involved.
Honorable Mention, Just Because:
“Believe” By Feki: Hmm, maybe this goes on in the car right before you meet, grab, and embrace that special someone. No words needed. No, really. Please stop talking.
“Me.” By Zaxx: Pay no attention to the lyrics they are pretty morbid but on the other hand the dishes just got finished and wait, where is that soapy hand headed...