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Songs to Remember #GamerGate By

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#GamerGate is dead, and Allah be praised that it is so. Oh, there's still some twitching, of course. Cockroaches can live a week without a head, I'm told, and the same generally holds true of lame Internet "revolutions." In the end the whole writhing mess got dragged into the daylight of the mainstream media, where it promptly died its vampiric death -- the messy one from True Blood, not the poofy one from Buffy.

It died because the people involved missed some very simple concepts, most importantly that you can't be a martyr and also hold the hammer. You can't claim to be a victimized minority when everything you support is already slavishly catered to in a ridiculous degree. More than that, you're never going to convince regular people that don't know what 8chan is (Many of whom also play games, you know) that ethics in video game journalism is worth tweeting threats to people over.

But credit where credit is due, The GamerGaters took things super-serial, and while they only imagined themselves as brave warriors carrying out military-grade operations when some of them did take the time to go out and create actual battles songs. Is it glorious? Of course it is! Today we salute you, the Joe Hills and Francis Scott Keys of #GamerGate, and the stirring tunes you left behind in your stupid, stupid war.

Shill Alive Obviously a parody of Jonathan Coulton's hit "Still Alive" from Portal, although parody is a strong word considering about half the lyrics by the anonymous lyricist remain completely unaltered. Mostly the song plays up the idea that GGers are a sad, oppressed bunch being lied about by the shills and the corrupt journalists.

What's really funny about their choosing "Still Alive" is that it's a song sung by a bitter, psychotic AI after her defeat following her attempt to kill protagonist. It's nothing but self-serving lies meant to deflect criticism and put the blame on the intended victim. Yes, I am still talking about the original song, though I understand how you might get confused.

Miso-gynee I do have to at least give some props out to the GGers in terms of video quality. This parody of "Chim Chim Cheree" really is aces when it comes to the visuals. Quite engaging, though in my opinion its reliance on them somewhat weakens the strength of the lyrics.

Nonetheless, it's a nice little wrap-up of the idea that the most prominent female victims of #GamerGate harassment, Anita Sarkeesian, Brianna Wu, and Zoe Quinn, fake-claimed victimhood for cash while #GamerGaters were the real target of widespread doxxing and bullying. I'm not saying that none of them were harassed or threatened, but I will say that the evidence they present is no stronger than the evidence they present for Quinn, Wu, and Sarkeesian to be lying.

Cis-Fire Ah, a call-out on the Social Justice Warriors using the villain's song from Hunchback of Notre Dame. Setting aside the fact that someone besmirched the memory of Tony Jay by bending this track to their twisted will, you start to see a pattern here, right? The GamerGaters never seem to get that when you continuously align yourself with the bad guys and actually use something like Social Justice Warrior as an insult it makes you look like you should all be wearing Cobra uniforms.

I guess I should be thankful that someone's idea in the official GamerGate Sings thread didn't get around to doing the same with "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" from Cabaret being that that is sung by a freakin' Nazi.

Story continues on the next page.

GloomerGoot Comments And here we come to the opposition and further evidence why #GamerGate collapsed like a flan in a cupboard (Dear Eddie Izzard, I still don't get that joke). Jonathan Mann waded into the fight with a song rebutting Dr. Christina Sommers ham-fisted and poorly done "take-down" of Sarkeesian's "Tropes vs. Women" series.

Then he followed it up with another, mocking the outcry that this was all about ethics in video-game journalism and not some sort of organized attack on women in the gaming industry from the GGers. Now we have this song, which is made up entirely of pissed-off GGers and the comments they've since left on his videos. Just a small, vocal minority, I'm sure.

Gamergate in the Key of Tetris and Mario Let's end off with Glen Hunter, better known as the poet Scream of Consciousness. He took on #GamerGate with a mixed-media work set to the Tetris theme that summed up pretty much how all of us regular gamers feel having watched this train derail over and over again for the past several months. It's catchy and illustrative of our collective exasperation. Thank all that is holy that it's over and the adults can get back to playing.

Jef has a new story, a tale of mad robot nurses and a man of miracles called "Sleepers, Wake!" available now. You can also connect with him on Facebook.

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