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Straight Outta Oregon: "My Titties Is Sick"

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If you're like Rocks Off, you completely ignored our good-hearted attempt to warn you about the effects of sleep deprivation and stayed up until 2 a.m. playing Oregon Trail. Ah, Oregon Trail! Those were the good days in computer lab, and yes, we still died of dysentery despite being an older and wiser gamer. The game was originally developed by three student teachers in Minnesota to help people a) Learn about pioneer days; and b) learn they and their families can die WITHOUT A SINGLE MOMENT'S NOTICE! It's that kind of hard-edged realism that made Carmen Sandiego seem like such a second-class floppy disk.

There is a problem with Oregon Trail, and it's the abhorrent noise you have to listen to in the background. It has "music" the same way Hobbit Café has a "parking lot" (Note to Hobbit Café: Please repave that thing. We're afraid we're going lose our daughter Baby Jessica-style in one of those potholes).

So while you relive the glory days of early computer gaming, we suggest you turn off the BG music, and instead listen to Fatawesome's epic raptacular, "The Oregon Trail Song (My Titties is Sick)."

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

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Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.