"In Roosters, an old, down home breakfast spot in Jones, Oklahoma full of old timers, I heard this — 'The faster the woman, the older the whiskey.'"

TV Theme-Song Pop Hit

Back in the day, we had plenty of these songs burning up the radio airwaves, John Sebastian's "Welcome Back" and Jan Hammer's "Miami Vice Theme," to name a couple. There hasn't been a big TV-theme pop music hit since the one from Friends, so I'm picking that song and the group of Texans we need to cover it.

Take a bow, Bryan Braman, DeAndre Hopkins, Case Keenum, Earl Mitchell, Shiloh Keo and Cierre Wood — who could also do a joint cover of "Movin' On Up," the theme of The Jeffersons.

These Texans are all asserting themselves as starters or players who will provide the kind of depth needed to make a serious run at Super Bowl ­XLVIII. And since all of them love rap music and Bun B, we'll get him to write a dope-ass rhyme to include in the cover.

Plus, I demand a video featuring the prettiest cheerleaders in the NFL — the Texans', of course — and this supergroup doing the George Jefferson Dance. Too much to ask?

Polka

You didn't think I'd write an entire blog about my favorite team and not mention J.J. Watt, did you? If you did, perhaps you're one of Houston's I Am Legend-like loners still rooting for the Titans. Remember when that was a big thing around here, LOL?

If you're paying any attention at all, you know Watt is the next true Texans superstar in the making (thanks for being the first, Andre Johnson). Dude's in more TV commercials right now than the McIngvales and the DeMontronds combined.

He can do whatever he wants and it'll be solid. That's why I am hoping he wants to do polka music. No matter how bad it might be, people are still going to love it. I know I will. And many of my female friends will too, especially if he dons lederhosen.

And who's to say it'll be bad? On the contrary, it might be freakin' awesome. For one, the kid is nicknamed "The Milkman." He delivers. But also, he's from Wisconsin, arguably the polka capital of the country. Even if he's not a fan, he's heard some polka.

Pair him up with resident badass accordionist Roberto Rodriguez III. True, he's not Bun B, but I'll bet they still thrown down harder on that funky polka beat than Watt throws down puny quarterbacks.
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Keep Calm, Fight Cancer
Musicians rally to help beloved Walters owner Pam Robinson.

Alyssa Dupree

On Saturday, August 10, an update on Walters' Facebook page announced that Pam Robinson had been diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. But if the longtime Houston nightclub owner has taught us anything over the past couple of decades, it's that she's a fighter, and cancer is just another battle she's going to win.

And thanks to Robinson's supportive family, Walters' staff and the help of Houston's music scene, the downtown club will host a three-day benefit from September 6 to 8 to help raise money and relieve some of the financial burden.

Last week Rocks Off spoke with Robinson, who shared that she is currently undergoing chemotherapy and "very aggressive" gamma-ray radiation.

"I had no symptoms," Robinson says. "I went in for a bad backache, and they told me I had arthritis, but none of it was working. Around the end of June, my doctor told me, 'Well, Ms. Robinson, it seems you don't have arthritis; you have cancer.'"

According to Robinson, she had "tumors everywhere," including her ankles, knees, arms and back — which explains the back pain.

Leave it up to Houstonians to stand up and join the cause. In a little less than 48 hours after the Facebook post, the Walters update had already reached 15,000 people through shares, likes and comments.

"It's been overwhelming," says Kat Keeter, who works on the club's booking and management team. "We've had so many people step forward to offer their time or to donate to the benefit, and it just reiterated what an impact she's had on the Houston music scene."

The Suffers' front woman, Kam Franklin, agrees.

"She put bands on bills when no one else would," says the singer. "When other venues banned punk and hardcore acts, she welcomed them with open arms. While the opportunities have opened at other venues since then, Pam and Walters have remained consistent."

Franklin has a point.

Walters and Robinson — who started Walters as Walter's On Washington around 2003, the latest in a line of Robinson-owned venues including Silky's and Mary Jane's — have a reputation for taking a chance on people. Or rather giving them a chance to shine. For a long time, Walters was the only venue booking shows available to all ages and any genre. For the most part, that still holds true.