Swagometer: Brawling Strippers & Fat Tony's Filthy New Band Name

Despite what you may have heard, swag isn't dead yet; at least not in Houston. Have any swagged-out projects or general ideas? E-mail alliswagoner@gmail.com.

Aside from working every day at Girls Rock Camp Houston, this week provided Rocks Off with its usually consistent amount of swag, and even a new, corny joke: Why did the hipster burn her mouth from eating pizza? Because she ate it before it was cool. Har, har, har.

This past Wednesday night, Ke$ha had a show in The Woodlands and Rocks Off's friend Ryan Grimes managed to snap the above pic of three young girlfriends, each dressed in T-shirts with a glittery "K." It's hard to know exactly where to start here, but we think that it's high time someone coins a term for Ke$ha fans; something similar to Insane Clown Posse's "Juggalos."

Swagometer: 0. No swag, but nevertheless, we think "this meme about to blow-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh."

Fat Tony finally returned "Home" from New York and had his first official welcome-back show at Boondocks last night. Chingo Bling helped out by doing a guest DJ set; we decided that only Chingo can mix the classic Juvenile dry-hump anthem, "Back Dat Ass Up" with a Latin beat.

Tony is embarking on a new project called Cunt Killer. We got handed the mysterious "Kill Cunt Smoke Blunts" 3-song demo three weeks ago, and only found out who the members were earlier this week. Fat Tony and guitarist Halston Luna have been writing songs for a while now; we got to sit in on a practice session while they were working with a potential vocalist. The songs are catchy and the chords comfortably linger in your brain after the first listen.

Swagometer: 10. How can anyone go wrong with a name like CUNT KILLER?

Devin Finch, local musician/comic-book artist/videographer/leather-clad jokeman has been working on new music under the moniker Adultry Kidding and we've been patiently waiting for new tunes. In the meantime, here's a track we dig called "Back Home."

Swagometer: 9.

Drew Barrymore directed the most recent Best Coast video, for "Our Deal," which features a list of lukewarm young stars like Miranda Cosgrove, Donald Glover and some other Nickelodeon assholes whose names we can't remember. MTV says that Barrymore's directing has a "light, indie feel" but we think she's taking herself too seriously - the Romeo and Juliet rival-gangs concept is pretty played out. Isn't Best Coast supposed to be all cats and surfing and glitter? NO SWAG.

Swagometer: 1. Credit for the red greaser jacket.

Worldstar Hip-Hop is only good for two things, neither of which is hip-hop: Videos of ass-shaking strippers and street brawls. Sometimes the two coagulate into bare ass stripper brawls, as on this video retweeted by Slim Thugga Thursday, and then suddenly WSHH makes sense.

Stripometer: 9. Have to dock a point for shameless self-promotion by the dudes watching.

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