1. If you see an unattended gate, just through it. What are they gonna do, kill you? "How dare you see my shitty band for free!" (Sorry Hugh Hefner)
2. If you think that someone you see on the street is famous, theres a 50/50 chance they are. Everyone looks like someone, but they may just be nobody. Like the 70 Vampire Weekend members running around.
3. Free booze is not always good booze. Just ask my cognitive senses this morning at 6 as I tried to plug my digital camera into the iPod dock in the hotel.
4. Buying cigarettes is for choads. Just let the Camel guys give you a few packs. Use an alias and your grandma's home phone number.
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4. Beards are so back in. They are this year's fashion mullet.
5. Eight-foot squirrels are fabulous and saucy dancers. (See picture below.)
6. If you think that electrical cord looks important, don't touch it. (Sorry, Justice.)
7. For the next year I plan on cleaning all my bosses houses each and every week so I can get a fancy badge in 2009. (Not really, but you get the idea. Wink Wink)