Rocks Off isn't sure what "state" he will be in twelve hours from now. We sure as hell won't be able to legally operate heavy machinery, that's for damned sure. We plan on staying in Texas, but shit, who knows what could happen after tonight's Motorhead show at Warehouse Live. We may join the Bandidos and move to New Mexico and start our own biker-music blog. Baby, we just don't know, and you ain't gonna tie us down.
We started off our day listening to Motorhead in the shower and shaving our beard into a Lemmy-approved
, therefore making us a dork of the highest order. That's the metal head equivalent of wearing Spock ears we guess. The world feels entirely different with our face shaved like this and we like it, though the man-purse we carry is sort of cramping our new look.
Here are our favorite Motorhead videos of all-time. If you are going to the show tonight and happen to see us on the floor puking or trying to climb one of the rafters: remain calm, avoid any sudden movements, and speak to Rocks Off in a calm, quiet voice. Throw something onto the ground if the Rocks Off pursues you, as this may distract us and allow you to escape. Stay quiet and motionless for at least 20 minutes once Rocks Off leaves. Rocks Off will often watch from a distance and return at the first sign of movement.
"Killed By Death"
Lemmy rises out of his grave, on a motorcycle. Jesus Christ just rolled a stone out of the way and booked it, but leave it to Lemmy to do it with way more style.
Lemmy and the word "clean" should never be used in the same sentence unless you are referencing him cleaning brain matter from his jacket.
"Eat The Rich"
Keep an eye out for the Rolling Stones' Bill Wyman in one of the restaurant scenes.
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SHOW ME HOW
"Ace Of Spades"
Sweet mama, Motorhead and The Young Ones, life doesn't get any snottier.
This is why
God Lemmy invented earplugs. So he could save our hearing for future Motorhead shows and whatnot.