Temptations Musical Heralds End Of The World

Mason Lankford said, "There will come a day when we forget the Rapture ever even happened," but Rocks Off is keeping an eye out for signs of our impending Armageddon. We were wrong last time, but we're totally right this time!

The Temptations have been in the music business for 50 years. That is a whole lot of great and inspirational music. The band recorded Top 10 singles and albums more often than Dave Mustaine changes the Megadeth lineup. Recently it was announced that the band's legendary run at Motown Records would be turned into a musical, possibly as early as 2013.

Sole surviving Temps co-founder Otis Williams has expressed a lot of enthusiasm for the project, and has even been inspired to record a new album in hopes of releasing it concurrently with the music once it debuts. The show will be based around the 1998 TV miniseries The Temptations, and Williams will serve as executive producer.

It's so wonderful that a group like the Temptations will get a chance to charm a whole new audience through the megamonster of Broadway. It's too bad that it also means THE END IS NIGH.

As always, the answer is plainly written out in the Book of Revelation.

Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth.

-Rev. 3:10

As the book says, an hour of temptation is surely to come, after which will follow the screaming, dying, rise of Cthulhu, and judgment of sinners. Granted, your average Broadway musical is more than an hour long, but measuring time in exact units has never been the Bible's strong point. Take it to mean a measure of time rather than a specific 60-minute interval.

The disturbing thing about the word of the Lord is of course that we will know salvation only by being kept away from what is surely to be the light-hearted soul sensation of the season. Possibly this is judgment from on high by the almighty against the world of Broadway putting all it's money into cover songs and movie adaptations rather than original ideas.

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But if that is true, then it means that our previous reading of the texts proving that the Book of Mormon's success on Broadway being a herald of Armageddon was completely wrong. Unless of course musicals in and of themselves are the work of Satan, a hypothesis that The Sound of Music pretty much proves by its very existence.

Those of you who avoid seeing the Temptations musical will surely be the saved and righteous. The whole rest of that chapter in Revelation is about God chewing us up and spitting us out, his choices of human nom-noms entirely dependent on our ambient body temperature and how fancy our clothes are. It's further proof that Revelation is really the Book of Cthulhu, but that's a discussion for another time.

Deliver yourself not to Temptation, for your very soul is at stake.

Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand.

- Rev. 1:3

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