The chopped and screwed Christmas mixtape should be a staple of any H-town holiday party. You can't expect everyone to share the same taste for slowed-down grooves, but since the concept was birthed (R.I.P DJ Screw), it's only right to apply it to our holiday treasures.
There's nothing new about cranking down the BPMs on the holiday classics. A few proper Christmas mixtapes are floating around the Internet. And while not everyone can claim to be authentically chopped and screwed, we can appreciate hearing the same boring songs that play while you shop at Target in a new way.
So here are the ten best chopped and slowed down Christmas songs we found to enjoy this holiday season.
10. "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)," Alvin & the Chipmunks There are a few version of this, some slowed down more than others. It's a landmark Christmas song from the 1981 television special. A proper kiddie Christmas song for the whole family to enjoy.
9. "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," Disney characters If only this version of the holiday's eponymous song played every time you walked into a department store, it might make dealing with the mobs of people at the Galleria a little easier. Listen for the slowed and chopped Donald Duck solo.
8. "8 Days of Christmas," Destiny's Child This is by no means a classic, but a Walmart-ready hit from 2001 that helped Miss Third Ward and her crew cash in with a holiday record.
7. "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)," Darlene Love This is about as classic as it gets. David Letterman has that Late Show tradition where Darlene Love sings this during the holiday time. Maybe when Stephen Colbert takes over he'll opt for the version above.
6. "Let It Snow," Boyz II Men A love-making holiday jam at its finest, it takes on a more sinister character in this version. But that's okay, we like that it gives crooner Wanya Morris a little more edge to his voice.
5. "Christmas In Hollis," Run-DMC Remarkably, one of the best known Christmas rap songs, like ever. It really never gets old (especially for the over-40 crowd). In its slowed-down version it's just a little funkier.
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4. "This Christmas," Mary J. Blige (or Donny Hathaway?) Hard to tell if Mary just sounds like Donny when you slow her voice down. Either way, this is one of the most soulful Christmas songs ever made.
3. "Last Christmas," Wham! It was a toss-up between this and the Taylor Swift version. Something about the slow motion sleigh bells in the back, those 80s synths, and adding some bass to George Michael's voice that makes this one the winner.
2. "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer," Dean Martin Who hasn't performed this in grade school? Sure the Bing Crosby version might be better, but a screwed-up version by Dean Martin is just too perfect.
1. "Jingle Bell Rock," Bobby Helms This is another bona fide holiday mainstay. Although it lacks the flourishes and cuts it needs to really make it a chopped and screwed track, it still works.
Bonus: "All I Want For Christmas," Mariah Carey Everyone saw Carey show just how human she really is after bombing at her New York City Christmas lighting performance recently. Her song is still a good one to have around this holiday. This version makes you forget that night altogether.
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
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