Screwston, Texas

The 10 Best Texans-Ravens Rapper Tweets

The 2014 Houston Texans have a new coach, new players, new hope and the same dedicated fan base of Houston-based rappers. As in years past, they took to Twitter on game day to comment on the home team's gridiron action.

And, as in years past, Rocks Off spent Sunday afternoon reading their tweets. The ghosts of Christmas past -- Gary Kubiak, Owen Daniels, Jacoby Jones -- were busted by Peter Venkman and Egon Spengler (OK...J.J. Watt and Arian Foster). The Texans defeated these former Texans and their fellow Baltimore Ravens to keep their wafer-thin playoff hopes alive.

Case Keenum was also back, leading the team into battle just like Kate Upton in those Game of War commercials -- looking fabulous but not really striking fear in anyone's heart. He did just enough to upstage James Franco Joe Flacco, who resembled a practice-squad QB Sunday afternoon.

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Jesse’s been writing for the Houston Press since 2013. His work has appeared elsewhere, notably on the desk of the English teacher of his high school girlfriend, Tish. The teacher recognized Jesse’s writing and gave Tish a failing grade for the essay. Tish and Jesse celebrated their 33rd anniversary as a couple in October.