The Houston Texans’ 2015 season began with HBO’s Hard Knocks introducing the team to America at large. It took a month of filming and some fancy editing to present to the nation our sometimes thrilling and frequently frustrating NFL franchise. Home Box Office could have saved all that time and money by just directing the curious to the Twitter accounts of Houston’s most notorious rappers. Keeping a tradition alive, we’ve once again collected some of the most insightful Tweets these artists/Texans fans shared on game day, a day where there was more tackle in a shuttered Galveston bait shop than in the Texans' defense.
Because of the team's comical ineptitude in a 44-26 loss to the Miami Dolphins, this week's edition of Rapper Tweets includes some much-needed levity from some of Houston's best comics, some of whom will be featured at next month's Houston Whatever Fest. That event will also showcase a nice marriage of music and comedy, minus the Texans' humiliating gridiron antics.
10. First Quarter, 3 Minutes Left: Dolphins 21, Texans 0
Ima just keep watchin this game to see if any new JJ Watt commercials come on..— Tha Screwed Up Essay (@ItzDatBoiT) October 25, 2015
Watching a show where animals turn aggressive & kill humans Seemed far fetched until I turned on the #Texans game It's happening there, too— Kristin Lindner (@KristinLindner) October 25, 2015
8. When You Start Ryan Tannehill Against the Texans
Fantasy Football made it a little bit more easier to be a fan of your city's trash football team.— DJ AudiTory (@DJAudiTory) October 25, 2015
7. Clowney's First NFL Sack: Dolphins 41, Texans 0
Clowney with the sack when it counts!!!!!— Bob Biggerstaff (@Chilitime) October 25, 2015
6. End Zone Dance Fatigue Slowed the Fins' Scoring
Miami scored and the whole team met in the end zone to do this pic.twitter.com/wRn2ZGbydy— Jack Freeman (@_jackfreeman) October 25, 2015
5. Not A Rapper. Or a Comedian. But Still Pretty Funny.
If the NFL were Game of Thrones, the AFC South is House Greyjoy. And the Texans are Theon.— Sean Pendergast (@SeanTPendergast) October 25, 2015
4. Sarcasm, They Name Is GT Mayne
Stop the press, the @HoustonTexans scored a touchdown 41-7....lets onside kick. Lol— DJ GT aka GT MAYNE (@GTMAYNE) October 25, 2015
3. They Stink
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2. Texans Open as a 6 Point Dog Against The Katy Tigers Next Week
1. The Funny Yet Sad Truth
I still love the #Texans like a mother loves her son in Jail.— Kazeem Rahman (@KazeemComedy) October 25, 2015