Screwston, Texas

The 10 Surliest Texans-Chiefs Rapper Tweets

The Houston Texans’ 2015 season began with HBO’s Hard Knocks introducing the team to America at large. It took a month of filming and some fancy editing to present to the nation our sometimes thrilling and frequently frustrating NFL franchise. Home Box Office could have saved all that time and money by just directing the curious to the Twitter accounts of Houston’s most notorious rappers. Keeping a tradition alive, we’ve once again collected some of the most insightful Tweets these artists/Texans fans shared on game day. Here’s how they saw Week 1’s too-little-too-late loss 27-20 to the Kansas City Chiefs:

10. Hope Springs Eternal

9. We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Football Reality

8. One For the Record Books: The First Kicker To Miss An Extra Point From The 15-Yard Line Will Always Be a Texan #rulechange  #FatRandy

7. The Ghost of Football Past Refuses to Haunt NRG Stadium

6. The Boo Birds Already Flying South For the Winter

5. Keepin' It Grill

4. It's Not Just the QB...

3. But, Mostly It's the QB

2. Course: Quarterback Controversy 101. Instructor: Professor O'Brien

1. Could Be Another Half-Baked Season, Y'all

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Jesse’s been writing for the Houston Press since 2013. His work has appeared elsewhere, notably on the desk of the English teacher of his high school girlfriend, Tish. The teacher recognized Jesse’s writing and gave Tish a failing grade for the essay. Tish and Jesse celebrated their 33rd anniversary as a couple in October.