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Page 3 of 4
4. Warrant
If you know your album doesn't have a chance in hell of having a hit, don't compromise your principles and write a goofy song you think might catch on just to throw a bone to the radio. It may come to define you for the rest of your days.
3. Stryper
I think by now Christian metal bands have more than established themselves as a credible force (see: The Devil Wears Prada, Norma Jean), so I won't even rip on them for that. Just don't also suck and, for Christ's sake, don't dress like a bumblebee. You're going to ruin it for all the good Christian metal bands.
2. Nitro
No matter how high you can sing, no matter how many arpeggios you've memorized, you can still completely suck. At a certain point, it's technically impressive but makes you sound like a joke band.
Ah, but who's No. 1? Find out on the next page.
