2. All hair metal Why? Oh, you didn't know this already? Yeah, watch an interview or better yet, reality show featuring any hair-metal band member. Listen to those lyrics. Fist-pump to those samey chord arrangements. Turns out those hair metal gods that scared so many parents were just dudebros with an affinity for hair spray and spandex.

Dudebro rebuttal: "Bros, I'ma sing 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' tonight at karaoke, can y'all get up on stage and do the 'OH!'s with me? Help me out, yo, I'ma be totes fuckin' drunk."

Reviews: Motley Crue & Poison, Toyota Center, June 10, 2011

Def Leppard, Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, September 23, 2011

1. Nirvana (but not the weird stuff) Why? Dudebros came up listening to Nirvana on the radio, back when modern rock radio still played new stuff. They loved Nirvana's loud guitars, catchy choruses, and quiet-to-crashing dynamics. Nirvana's hits being relatively radio-friendly, dudebros developed a taste for them and bought their albums... and played the same three or four songs over and over, skipping the non-hit tracks.

Dudebros have no patience for the strangeness of many of Nirvana's deeper cuts. They have no frame of reference for the odd chord structures, the confrontational screaming, or anything else that reflected Kurt Cobain's true greatness as a songwriter as opposed to just another rocker it was safe to switch their brains off while "listening" to.

Cobain's lyrics were dense, image-heavy, and often not straightforward at all. Can you imagine how frustrating it must have been to him that, to many of his fans, they didn't matter at all? Dudebros don't have the capacity to understand what "Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back" means, but they do know how to slur-sing along to it when it plays on the bar jukebox.

Dudebro rebuttal: "R.I.P. Kurt. Wish I coulda popped a couple brews with that dude, maybe tried to cheer him up a little, try to talk him into writing more songs like Teen Spirit."