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The Best Slap-Fights, Verbal Or Otherwise, In Houston Rap History

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Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Last week, Chamillionaire and Paul Wall kicked off their 20-city "In Love Wit My Money" reunion tour in dreaded Austin. It's the first time the two have toured together in something like seven or eight years. Remember, these two gentlemen combined forces to create one of the best albums in Houston's history, so you should absolutely be pumped for their April 23rd Houston date at the House of Blues. It's huge, the rap equivalent to finding out that another Lethal Weapon is going to be filmed. Now, as tempting as that metaphor is to dissect and explain - black guy/white guy tandem; black guy is a little more serious and self-aware, white guy is goofy and seems a bit off even though he's probably pretty smart; both the movie and the Get Ya Mind Correct are now viewed as significant moments in cinematic/musical history; etc-- we're more concerned with using this bit of news to rehash a few of Houston's best rap-related slap-fights. Hit the jump to see which ones made the cut.

Chamillionaire vs. Mike Jones

This was about as one-sided as a war could be. Cham absolutely destroyed Jones with his

Mixtape Messiah

, a tape that also landed on The Countdown. Jones fired a few shots back, but none hit the mark.

Read more about this whole situation here.Honorable Mention:

Mike Jones vs. Trae (Seriously, is anyone better at getting the least of a rap slap-fight than Jones?); Mike Jones vs.

Houston Press fellow Mike Giglio
Lil' Flip vs. Paul Wall

Since we gave Cham a spot, it only seems right to work Wall in here as well. Remember when Flip and Slim Thug were going after each other's throats? Apparently, Wall was actually the intended target when Flip started in on that, and Thugga somehow took Flip's jabs at Paul to be shots at himself. The best part of this whole thing is Flip says Paul has a tattoo paying homage to Flip somewhere on his body. We spent about 15 minutes searching pictures of Wall's visible tattoos looking for it before we realized what we were doing. Then we shoved a pencil into our eyes.

Honorable Mention:

Lil' Flip vs. common sense (For real, Flip, cut the braids off, sir.)

Pimp C vs. Lil' Troy

Oh, this was a good one. Troy and Scarface were going back and forth with each other, calling each other snitches and whatnot, so Pimp decided to call out Troy out in a now infamous


magazine article (the same one where Pimp said that Atlanta wasn't part of the South). Pimp kept referring to Troy as "Lil bitch-ass Troy," which is so simple that it's endlessly hurtful. Oh, he also said that Ne-Yo and Russell Simmons were gay, though not for each other. Man, Pimp was the best.

Honorable Mention:

Scarface vs. Lil Troy

SUC vs. Swishahouse

Okay, this one didn't quite come to fruition like it could have, but debating the strength of these two camps relative to one another is a vital part of any Houston rap discussion. It's always fun to talk about. That is, unless you run up against someone that honestly believes Swishahouse gets the better of SUC. Then that shit is just infuriating.

Z-Ro vs. Trae

This one has sort of dissipated quite a bit after neither one of them decided to play along with everyone's urging for them to go at it, but there was a time when talks of these two getting after each other was hot business. Rumor has it that Trae was super-pissed about 'Ro (allegedly) involving Trae's little brother Jay'Ton in some shady business, which eventually landed Jay in jail for a stint, but that's never been confirmed. Still, this is a great "What If?" scenario. Imagine Trae and 'Ro setting in on each other. The ground would rumble beneath their feet, guaranteed. We'd probably have a hard-on for weeks.

Honorable Mentions:

Z-Ro vs. Rap-A-Lot, Trae vs. HPD, Z-Ro vs. Michael "5000" Watts; Trae vs. The Boxx Thanks for your support. Have a lovely weekend.

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