Angelica Leicht and Marco Torres report back with the most outrageous sound bites they overheard at Weekend 1 of the 2013 Austin City Limits Music Festival.
"I think Bigfoot just copped a feel!"
"Um, these guys are a little bit weird..."
"This shit doesn't even make sense, and I'm stoned."
"Does anyone out here have any money? You guys all have money, right? I have a broken leg. I don't know. Who has money?"
"Thank you all for eating your vegetables. They keep you healthy. Like, the ones that used to be pickles and the ones that aren't covered in chemicals and they're expensive. Vegetables are expensive. Especially the ones that aren't filled with chemicals. Right?"
"It has the same Austin vibe, but it smells so much better!"
"This is the first ACL in ten years that I've been sober. I think something is wrong with me!"
"Why does that kid look like he's gonna scream-cry?"
"What?! You didn't seem to care who knew you knew when we were making out at the Red Lion!"
"I bet if you work at one of these beer things you get really good at multiplying by either six or by eight."
"Thank you for coming out. And fuck allergies!"
"Jack Daniels makes my festival experience so much better."
"Whatever dude. White world problems."
"Wow, dude. Way to piss where I'm walking!"
"I couldn't decide whether to bring one joint or two, so I went with two. You can't watch The Cure sober or you'll cry."
"He's over here somewhere."
More random quotes on the next page.
"Look at the way all the spotlights are tilted at an angle, all perfect and shit. It's like art in the sky."
"Hey! You guys are Led Zeppelin!"
"Girl! You know you want this dick!"
"I know you! You're Waldo!"
"Who doesn't like bubbles?"
"Well, even if they roofied it, everyone knows that's a waste of a roofie, cause I'll sleep with literally anybody."
"I mean, I don't get it. You wanna walk over and catch Kings of Leon now?"
"Can I see it? Can you take another one?!"
"Sometimes at ACL you have to have like, a parent's level of patience. If one more drunk girl steps on me, I'm going to have to channel my mom."
"Man, Austin is so full of fuckin' hipsters. Why do they insist on these porn-staches and weird hats?"
"I mean, how is that not offensive?"
"Man... Fuck Matt Schaub!"
"Dude, you can't sell that ticket for that. I tried. Just, no. No one wants to buy your damn ticket!"
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
10 More Reasons Dolly Parton Is Badass Is David Guetta's "Play Hard" the Best (and Most Racist) Video On YouTube?! The 10 Most Ridiculous Band Names Right Now Stephen King's Five Best Rock and Roll References