Grand Funk Railroad Hey, speaking of bullshit "funk," try on Grand Funk for size. Has there ever been a worse arena-rock hit than "We're an American Band?" They're comin' to your town to ruin your whole day. These guys tried to have a little more boogie than the others on this list, a little Hendrix if you will, but they lacked a vital component: actual songwriting talent.
Free Finally, finally we arrive at the anti-King Midas of classic rock, the man who ruins everything he ever touches, Paul Rodgers. It would have been bad enough if we were simply forced to listen to "All Right Now" for 40 years running. I could win the lottery, walk outside, hear that song and immediately just blow my damn brains out. Even though I won the lottery, I had to hear "All Right Now" for the 10,000th time and life just would not be worth living.
But this guy just wouldn't go away. Next came Bad Company. Give him this: The song "Bad Company" is actually pretty badass. But even Styx had "Renegade." Everything else they did was like "Feel Like Makin' Love." In other words, more of Paul Rodgers's ability to take anything and turn it into the same old crap.
His sins against rock just kept going, though, even into this century, as he joined and subsequently disgraced Queen, of all bands. Queen replaced literally the greatest front man of all time with the worst. Paul Rodgers turned gold to ashy ruin once again, and the cycle continued. Now he continues to mar our workdays with his awfulness every single hour, on the hour, thanks to classic-rock radio and Pandora.
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