The Funniest Moments of FPSF 2015

My best guess is that the entire stage right side of Major Lazer's set witnessed some of the most, uh, interesting and involved dancing of this year's fest from one not exactly shy gentleman in sunglasses and a green Speedo. His signature moves included but were not limited to: grinding his ass on passerby; getting people to take turns vigorously spanking his cheeks, overtly thrusting around his wang whilst his own hand was down the back of his skivvies and, of course, smoking a pinchie. All attempts to photograph this gentleman were a failure, which leads me to believe that he is a unicorn and cannot be caught on film. (SELENA DIERINGER)

From a distance, the Taco Bell food truck looked surprisingly popular given how many delicious local options were available onsite. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that free tacos were being distributed. On top of being free, these tacos were found to be of the Doritos Cool Ranch variety, making the one-per-guest suggestion damn near impossible. I'm not too proud to admit that I made a few rounds. (MATTHEW KEEVER)

While we were in the Fancy Pants tent, we had forced our way in front of the a/c unit to cool off. So had a handful of other people, including a couple who was standing right in the damn middle of the air flow. Well, an obviously hot and over it security person came in with the same idea. But with nowhere to go, she gestured to the couple directly in front of the a/c that no, they could not be air hogs, and shooed them out of the way. Literally. She then walked over to the spot where they'd been standing, looked over at us and stretched out her arms, laughing. That's a bad bitch right there. (ANGELICA LEICHT)

Watching full-blown adults determinedly mosh on the searing-hot asphalt at the Jupiter stage all weekend continuously blew my mind. The action was definitely wildest for Goatwhore, but the Riverboat Gamblers, Diarrhea Planet and others had folks pushing and shoving with abandon. Were people getting scraped and cut up? Hell yes, they were! Sunburned, too. It was great to watch. But God bless them, they kept at one another. (NATHAN SMITH)

Seeing packed Metro buses was hilarious because I've never seen one as near capacity as when it was stopped on hot pavement. Wouldn't it be nice to see them full on the freeways, too? (MATTHEW KEEVER)

[Note: An item about the Decemberists here has been removed because the writer mistakenly thought singer Colin Meloy was addressing the crowd, when he was actually referring to the sound spillover from a nearby stage — Ed.]

On the walk back to the parking lot on Saturday night there, a young lady needed to go in the worst way. She was pacing in a small area and seemed like a dog trying to find the right place to lift its leg. The wrong place to go was in the well-lit corner of a chain-linked fence between NRG Stadium and the Blue Lot. Her “friend” decided to laugh hardily while making a video of her as people passed and tried not to watch the train wreck. (JACK GORMAN)

Tove Lo flashed her boobies during "Talking Body." Here is the video. (MARCO TORRES)

When security at Fancy Pants wouldn't allow Diana Toliver-Session into the tent (presumably due to capacity), which prompted Kam Franklin to say: "Uh-uh, Mr. Security Man! That is my mother over there! Y'all let her in, please!" (MARCO TORRES)

Several people were having fun in the Fancy Pants tent by running on a human hamster wheel sponsored by a local energy company. The company was wise to have a legal waiver signed as a requirement to run, because a few people ate it. One large man, presumably intoxicated, was talked into doing it by his friends, who were much more fit. He started off at a good pace and moved to a much faster clip to where he promptly launched himself out of the wheel onto the Astroturf, only to be helped up by his laughing friends. (JACK GORMAN)

This year's fest made a great call by creating space for people to sprawl out and meanwhile people-watch passersby from below. Blanket time was key this fest, especially due to the heat. After a super-rowdy Major Lazer set, many flocked behind the Mars stage to veg before the night's headliners commenced. At some point, someone dropped a pack of Marlboros that also happened to include a funny cigarette. Upon noticing this, it became a game to see how long it would take before anyone discovered this free treasure. After about 20 minutes of people walking directly over the pile and sanitation workers somehow completely missing it, people started to notice, which was like free entertainment for the people sitting in earshot of the pile. Two EDM boys walked over the pile nervously three separate times, debating whether or not to pick up the joint, ultimately choosing not to risk it. Many people just pointed and laughed. Eventually, like vultures picking at a carcass, people began to pick up the pieces that looked the most appetizing: two cigarettes were carefully chosen from the ground, then another. Finally, a group came and took the joint, only to move away quickly. All in all, it took 30 minutes for the free drugs to be collected, which is probably a good sign – people are learning that it's a generally horrid idea to take "ground" drugs. (SELENA DIERINGER)
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