Last month, The Niceguys released a song called "Magick" and we all fell all ourselves to throw compliments at it. Earlier this week, the video for it came out. And holy fuck. It's wonderful.
I could spend another 200 words fellating the guys that are nice and the director that is great (his name, sadly, is Danny Ocean, not The Great Director), but instead there's this: an artistic rendering of the rapper in the group, Yves, while he was on a recent rap sabbatical (this James Kelley EP has been taking FOREVER, it seems, so he definitely had to have been on one). It's supposed to represent how enjoyably enjoyable this whole thing is, I suspect. I don't know. I didn't make it. I think it was Vincent van Gogh that did. He dug himself out of his own grave just to do it.
Everything is labeled and explained for clarity.
Note: I'm aware that the guy in the picture is white and Yves is not, but that just goes to show how little you know about art if you were about to bother to point that out.
1. Yves had planned to simply relax in that castle up there for a few weeks, but then it was attacked by a legion of demon ninjas. Those are all the bodies of the first wave of DMs Yves had to kill. (There were thousands more but he threw their bodies up into the sun when it started to get a little crowded with corpses. Because that's what Yves does with things. He throws them into the sun. Because he's so strong. You get it.)
2. This demon ninja was particularly fiesty so Yves decided to tear his arms and legs off but allow him the honor to live limbless. Yves has a little thing called mercy.
3. Those are the left arm and left leg of another dead ninja. I am not exactly sure what happened to the rest of his body.
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4. Just an ordinary decapitated demon ninja head. Everyday stuff, you know. (4.b. is not the body of the head from 4.a. Just thought I would clarify that because it is a little misleading. Once again, I am not sure where the body from the head of picture 4. went. If I am not mistaken I think that is one of the ones that Yves threw into the sun. Doesn't really matter.)
5. Those are the bones of 100 man-eating dragons Yves had to slay. I know what you are thinking: "That doesn't look like enough to be the bones of 100 man-eating dragons." To that I reply, "Take a hike, chillbro."
6. Those boots are actually hand made by a fortune-telling gypsy. Yves picked them up last summer at a trendy boutique in Manhattan. (FYI, they are made from the hides of 1,000 virgins he soiled, obvs.)
7. That's just his viking hat, is all. He wears it to church and when he just wants to unwind and whatnot.
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8. That's not even Yves' ax; he found it attached to the end of a severed arm I assume he ripped off with my bare hands. Yves' ax is actually much larger. It weighs about a million pounds and has a handle that is fashioned from the bones of Jesus Christ himself.
9. Those bastard fire breathing ninjas set that kick-ass castle on fire. It's a good thing Yves' man-skin is fire proof otherwise he might have perished in the same manner as the harem that lived there.
10. Just some spooky clouds. (I think those are cumulus clouds)