Pop Life

The Seven Ages Of Britney Spears: A Poem

By William Shakespeare and Craig Hlavaty

All the world's a stage, even things like MTV and stuff. And all the men and women merely players, even Fred Durst and that one chick from that one show that we forgot the name of. She had long hair probably.

They have their exits and entrances, like the time that Michael Jackson died. And one (wo)man in her time plays many parts, like when Britney was in Crossroads, or on How I Met Your Mother and junk. Her acts being seven ages, but how can she like, have seven ages if she's just like, 29 and stuff?

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty