The Song Is a Lie: We Wanted the Best. We Didn't Get It.

This week it's all about exposing song titles that are complete and outright blatant lies. So far the Beatles have let us down. George Harrison's guitar wasn't gently weeping, it was breathing easy in a corner while Eric Clapton's rig wailed like a broken-hearted banshee all over the "White Album."


The Song Is a Lie: The White (Lie) Album

Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to kick a dent in yet another pillar of the rock and roll world. It pains me to do so because it involves mocking Kiss, and I love Kiss. My bedroom wall was more of an exhibit dedicated to Kiss action figures than anything else, and I still wander around my house in an official Kiss bathrobe with leopard-print lapels because that is boss as fuck.

Nonetheless, in 1998 they failed us and failed us hard with this falsehood of a song.

Psycho Circus was supposed to be a big deal. A huge deal. The original four members of Kiss were reuniting to record all-new original material. The Kiss Army went bablooey with Todd McFarlane comic books and tours and hopes and dreams -- and it was all pretty much smoke and mirrors, as best evidenced by the song "You Wanted the Best."

Don't get me wrong, it's a kickass song, fully worthy of being a classic Kiss track, but did we really get the best? Sure, it's one of only two songs on the whole album on which returning members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss even play, and the only song in the history of the group where all four members share lead vocals, but it's such a sad sham of a performance that they really should've called it something else.

I mean, how on Earth can you write a song extolling how a band comes together and remains a family while at the same time making your drummer sing over someone else's drum track? On the subsequent tour for the album, the song wasn't even played live.

Ironically, the only song on the album that did perfectly sum up the relationship between the four original members, "Into the Void," did make it onto the tour despite not being a single. Its lyrics are very telling...

It's a strange sensation

Out of control being by myself

I feel this gravitation

Caught like a magnet and I'm being pulled

Tomorrow I'll tackle the fact that Barry Manilow did not in fact write the song that makes the whole world sing, but that's not the whole story by a long shot.

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