Editor's Pick: Shit. I spent my whole year either avoiding or ignoring trends. No reason to change now.
Marc Brubaker: Many a person instructed me to place Ke(Dollar Sign)ha in this spot, but she's become so ubiquitous that I can't help but laugh when I hear her now. No, fine sirs, this award is reserved for famous people doing features for Justin Bieber. Why oh why is everyone coming out of the woodwork to guest on his songs? Of course the answer is money, but this just smacks me as a perfect example of everything wrong with the way major labels operate.
John Seaborn Gray: Chillwave. Sorry, but privileged white kids with top-of-the-line synthesizers will never be interesting. If you're still into chillwave, consider abusing less prescription medication and waking the hell up.
Craig Hlavaty: Weezer. New music at least. I can still play the shit out of the first three albums though.
Jef With One F: Still going strong is the annoyingly inaccurate belief that a season is enough time to make an idol. Once again, talented, but ultimately pre-packaged masonite artists are heralded as music saviors simply because television suits tell us to. Once again, those rabid dialers who flock to fill the stadiums forget that they have already forgotten those they swore they would never forget in previous years.
Meanwhile, bands like Goldfrapp, Chromeo, The Billy Nayer Show, and a slew of our own incredible local talent just don't have the amperage to be heard over a million watts of silence and Sweettarts.
There's nothing wrong with bouncing to fame on a good lucky chance. Just don't expect me to afford you the same respect that I give to Bowie. Hell, Lindsay Lohan's rise to stardom as a musician is 20 times more compelling than anything put out by that show I will neither name nor watch. I'm not a Christian, but there's a good solid reason for not worshipping false idols.
Matthew Keever: Ke(Dollar Sign) ha. Are you serious? We don't even have to put it into words. Just watch this and try to disagree. Sure, it's danceable, but so is this, and no one goes to concerts to watch this guy.
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Shea Serrano: #Hashtagrap is easily the most awful thing that's happened in 2010. People were doing it before now, but everybody was doing it in 2010.
Brittanie Shey: The Bedroom Intruder phenomenon. Sure, Antoine Dodson's original fierceness in the face of what could have been a tragedy was utterly charming, but people -- you do realize this is a story about a potential rape, right? Ha ha ha rape so soooo funny and people who live in the ghetto are especially hilarious.
All the Auto-tuning, the alternate versions, the fucking Christmas carols. I can only hope Dodson and his sister, who used to proceeds of their iPhone app to buy a house outside of the projects, are rolling naked in cash-money as we speak.
William Michael Smith: It sort of sickened my stomach to see names like Springsteen, Mellencamp, and Robert Plant in the highest echelons of the Americana Music Association's year-end charts. That's comparable to pitchers in the Hall of Fame winning a game in the minor leagues.