Rocks Off likes to troll CraigsList looking for ads in the musicians section. You can often find some truly original and interesting people at the very inception of their careers. You can also find rampaging lunatics who are interesting enough to talk to.
But nyone who has spent more than an hour on CraigsList has surely learned how to tell when a post is some half-assed attempt by a shady individual or company to somehow part you with your money in exchange for also destroying your dreams and faith in the music industry. And that's the best-case scenario. The rest of the time it's people who are just utterly clueless about how incapable of delivering on their promise they really are.
In an effort to maybe guide some young bands out there, here are the kinds of things we've learned to avoid. All ads submitted as written without corrections.
IF YOU SING RAP OR PRODUCE BEATS THIS COULD BE YOUR CHANCE,WE CAN GET YOUR MUSIC ON TOP TV NETWORKS,MTV,BET,BRAVO,E NETWORK,TMZ,TRU TV AND MANY MORE CALL XPOZETALENT 702-927-6028 LOCATED IN LAS VEGAS NV
Sorry for the all caps, but that's what a lot of these people think we respond to. If you're already so leery of this that you don't want to click on the link, we'll save you the trip and tell you that the picture that accompanies this ad is a shot of the Las Vegas strip that was obviously lifted from some travel agent's Web site.
Because we love you, we tried to call the number listed. However, it wouldn't let us connect from our cell. Not available from lines of this type, it said. We dug around a little and found what we think is the agency's Web site, which seems very keen on selling you on attending their Talent Boot Camp and lists absolutely no rappers or producers whom they have managed to get on TV.
Are you looking to work towards finding that 'HIT' song so you can rise above the rest and get the attention from fans/labels/management?
Our team of professionals can help you achieve your vision.
The team includes Los Angeles based Billboard Top 100 Producer/Writer as well as marketing/promotion team with major label contacts and independent avenues to promote your product.
Email for additional information
This producer is obviously so awesome that we know who he is without the ad even mentioning his name. We also get a kick out of the fact that the word hit is both in all caps and in quotation marks. It's like they're admitting that they're screaming a lie at us.
But what the hell, we dropped them an email asking who this mysterious musical genius was and what we had to do to enlist his or her amazing talents. Still haven't heard back. Hit producers are a busy lot, you know?
My Music Spot is a free social networking site for musicians & music lovers! Meet thousands of performers from every style of music worldwide! Upload your music/videos & share your talent! Promote your music events at www.my-music-spot.com!
We have a harder time making fun of things like this because these are not scams. These are people who are legitimately trying to build the next MySpace, where bands can have an easy place to upload music and be discovered. Don't get us wrong, they want that MySpace paycheck, too, but they're not actively out to take your money.
The thing they don't seem to understand is that musicians don't need a forum to talk to musicians. We have those. We call them gigs. What we need is a place where a bunch of people who aren't shilling their own music are hanging out so we can shill to them. There's nothing sadder than a Web site that is nothing but a bunch of local bands trying desperately to increase their friend count or sell an album through begging.
We did get roped into something like this once over at TuneCrypt, but really it was just encourage our fans to leave hateful comments on our profile there to see what the admins would do about a band with no feedback but hate mail. Turns out nothing. See, they can't even be good at sucking.
If you have a band with buzz happening I might be able to help your band. I have helped 7 bands get played on the radio because the bands recorded one of MY songs on THEIR CD that the radio played. This is Jerry Skolasinski, I have had my music played all over the world. (Google my name) I am a BMI published songwriter, not a performing artist. Go to jerryskol.com and see if there is a RADIO FRIENDLY song of mine your band can record with YOUR SOUND.
Google you? Challenge accepted.
Do we really have to keep going on this one? Also, he wants $15 on his Web site just to download an MP3.
Reply to the ads at your own risk.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.