Above is the cover of the new Christmas single by once-popular barroom grunge act Buckcherry. We have to say, we like it a lot better than we like their music. It continues a tradition of sexy yuletide album covers, which Rocks Off is proud to document for your ogling pleasure.
We'll try to avoid any unnecessary "unwrapping" puns in our commentary.
Who could forget Mariah's skintight Santa's Little Helper outfit from her first Christmas album? Lord have mercy. Nothing soothes the holiday stress like a little bit of cameltoe on a sexy elf.
Her new album cover is similar, though noticeably different in crucial ways. She seems to have covered up a little bit more, and we think some Photoshop may have been employed.
We prefer the "Oh Santa" single cover to the newer, more chaste Christmas Mariah.
Not terribly revealing, but the posture is pretty sexy, as are those heels. Yeah, take a look at those heels: those are Grade-A holiday fuck-me pumps. If you think we're mistaken, check the photo on the insert, where her dress has already begun to slip from her shoulders. Hell yes.
We're not sure who the Puppini Sisters are, but they're awfully cute. Especially the blonde; we've always wanted a saucy, blonde Ayn Rand around the house for the holidays.
She's always hot, no matter what she does. Even though this album cover is sort of boring, she makes the cut anyway because she's Xtina.
A couple of cute cartoon gals grace a pair of rockabilly Christmas albums in the old WWII fighter-plane nose-art tradition. Seems like we've seen these girls a million times before, but then again rockabilly isn't exactly about innovation. It would be kind of silly for us to expect to see an anime chick on a Brian Setzer album cover.
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Ding Dong Dandy
Ding dong dandy? It's certainly about to be! If you look closely, you can see that they're not actually helping her up, but are in fact holding her down. It's cool, though, she's not a victim, she's just really into role-playing. What girl doesn't have her "helpless ice skater accosted by three deviant Elks Club members" fantasies? The safe word is "Salchow."
We were going to say something tongue-in-cheek about Mr. MacDonald, but we're too lost in his dreamy eyes to be sarcastic. Sigh.