16. Nickelback (25 Million): We just can't stand lead singer Chad Kroeger's blonde locks, or how he sings the word "panties."
15. Limp Bizkit (34 Million): What makes Fred Durst wurst than most? The red hat, the rapping, and the fact that he cannot be kept down. Sometimes perseverance is the biggest turn-off to some.
14. Creed (35 Million): "Wit' ahrmah wye' ooohpin...."
13. Lady Gaga (55 Million): She bites too much off Madonna's hustle and allegedly has a penis. But at least her ass is pretty cool...
12. Britney Spears (100 Million): She bites too much off Madonna's hustle and allegedly likes too much penis. But at least her ass was pretty cool in 2003.
11. The Eagles (120 Million): "I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man." Most people probably didn't realize they hated the Eagles so much until The Big Lebowski came out in 1998.
10-8.Kenny G/Yanni/Michael Bolton (148 Million): Rocks Off himself can say that we have seen all three artists in the past two years, and we will neither confirm or deny that we had a good time. Let's face it, it was the fact that these guys all sported perfect Steel Magnolias-ready perms at one time and made music for your mom's candle-lit bubble-baths that made you hate them.
7. U2 (150 Million): This is a case where people don't really hate the band itself, but they sure as hell hate Bono, and the rest of the band suffers. Are bipartisan humanitarian efforts and trying to cure AIDS that bad? When U2 comes to town, oddly enough, people start calling favors and blackmailing friends to get tickets.
6-4. Major American Boy Bands 1984-Present (New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, 256 Million): Because Justin Timberlake had to start somewhere, and the New Kids' job was to titillate pre-teen girls (and some boys) in the late '80s because Axl Rose and Slash looked like they smelled like a backed-up truck-stop bathroom. As for the Backstreeters, we needed Nick Carter to keep Bieber's seat warm until he could leave Canada and take over the world.
3. Celine Dion (200 Million): You obviously aren't a middle-aged mother of three adult children, loser. Or the Titanic soundtrack scarred you for life.
2. Michael Jackson (750 Million): Oh, that whole alleged child-molesting thing, huh? Right. Well, Thriller was cool, and he had awesome friends, so there's that.
1. Madonna (300 Million): You don't hate Madonna, you just hate that she has better arm definition than you or Chuck Liddell ever will. But her "American Pie" cover sucked nuts.
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